In Love with the Boy Next Dorm By Carolyn Parkhurst
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 It started as an embarrassing question on my college tour. There I was, visiting The College of My Choice, trying more than anything to be nonchalant and look as though I fit in.
Then what did my dad do but ruin it all by doing the one thing every kid prays her parents won't ask a question. Not just any question, either, but the question: Would I live in a coed dorm, and would I actually share a bathroom with a member of the opposite sex? The tour guide smiled: I cringed. But the question had been raised: Would a coed dorm be a problem?
I assured my parents it wouldn't. I used arguments like it's no different from living with a brother. . . ." Yet inside, even I wasn't convinced. Questions I never had to worry about in high school began to fill my mind: What would it be like to brush my teeth next to a cute guy from my English class? Would I have to redo my makeup every time I wanted to walk down the hall to get a drink of water? And if romance should rear its heart-shaped head for me and my next-door-neighbor, would it be strange to date someone who lived only a few feet away?
When I got to college, there were so many other things to get used to-new classes, new friends, bad food-that I almost forgot to worry about living with guys. Almost. When Mom and Dad asked with raised eyebrows how the coed dorm situation was going, I told them (with my newfound college sophistication) that by assuming it was anything less than peachy, they were perpetuating the myth that men and women could only relate in a sexual manner. But I had to admit, to myself anyway, that I couldn't look at some guys without thinking of Aqua-fresh. And when I began lingering in the hallway for hours at a time, hoping to catch a glimpse of the guy across the hall. I knew I was in trouble.
Or was I? How much harm could there be in dating the boy next door?
I had read in my Intro to Psych book that some ridiculously high proportion of married couples grow up within a few blocks of one another, so proximity couldn't be all bad. There were certainly advantages to habitating so near to my heartthrob: I could arrange to nonchalantly bump into him any hour of the day or night just by leaving my room. After a few weeks of stumbling into one another squinty-eyed at 7:00 A.M., I couldn't say he didn't know I existed.
Since our meetings were so casual flirting was easier, too. All I had to do was walk across the hall to borrow some microwave popcorn and I could initiate a fifteen minute conversation on the merits of natural versus butter flavor, smiling and making eye contact all the while.
Gossip was a plus as well. It ran rampant in our dorm, so it was very easy to keep tabs on what my neighbor was up to: who he'd been seeing, what time he'd gotten home the night before, and who his roommate had been taking phone messages from at 2:00 A.M. The grapevine also al!owed me to resort to fourth-grade tactics to find out what my chances were-I' d ask my friends to ask his friends if he liked me . . . well, you get the picture.
The biggest advantage to interdorm dating is the obvious one-you get to know people really well when you live with them. I tended to hang out and talk with the same people on our hall that my crush did. And in the process, we got to know each other, without any pressure to do so. I ended up !earning about his ideas and interests, and he found out how crazy I get when I have to write a paper. By the time a guy has listened to all your personal crises and has seen you in the morning while you 're washing your face, he knows you a lot better than someone you've just seen at parties, Needless to say, that makes getting along together and starting a relationship a whole lot easier.
But romance with someone in the dorm isn't all hearts and flowers and borrowed snacks. There's a downside, too. If you have a falling-out, not only do you know he hasn't said a word to you in two days, but he's sitting just twenty feet away from you, probably breathing the same air. You hear his voice in the hall: Do you casually wander out of your room to see him? Or do you wait and see if he comes to knock on your door?
Another problem is that the gossip doesn't stop once it's served its purpose. Once my across-the-hall romance got off the ground, there were just too many friends involved. The same grapevine that had been helpful a little earlier became a source of trouble when we started hearing things about one another third and fourth hand.
Finally, a same-dorm relationship may make you a little claustrophobic. Even when things are great, you probably won't want to spend every waking minute together, which can be a problem if you're always around each other. And when things aren't great, it only makes it worse to have to run into him every time you open your door. Romance with someone who lives very close to you requires sensitivity and maturity. Sometimes the lack of distance is an advantage, and sometimes it isn't. But don't worry if things don't work out with the boy next door or down the haII-there's always the cute guy across the quad you keep running into... .
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