I'm Scared I'll Lose Him! By AbiGail Wood
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 Nick and I share everything. For two years, we've been not just boyfriend and girlfriend, but best friends.
The problem is, we're going away to separate colleges, and I'm scared. He said he'll visit a lot, but I'm used to having him around all the time. What if he has so much fun that he forgets about me? What if he cheats on me? What should I do?
You 're right-being apart for college will put a strain on your relationship. Both you and Nick will be bombarded with new experiences. And there's a real possibility that you or Nick-or both-will find it difficult to sustain things. But worrying about it won't solve your problem. What will help is to think of the separation as a chance for both of you to grow.
So, trust Nick. You know that his feelings for you are as strong as yours for him. Don't feel that you have to check up on him. Trust that you'll be fair to each other, and if problems do arise, that you'll discuss them.
As for now, concentrate on the wonderful new experiences that you 're about to have. It's fine to think about Nick and look forward to seeing him, but also be open to meeting new friends - the more people you allow into your life, the better able you'll be to find out what's right for you. Remember: If your relationship with Nick is meant to be, your courage in accepting this separation gracefully will not endanger it, but will give it room to grow.
I'm so worried about my boyfriend, Matt. We've been together for almost three years, but lately he's gotten really involved with cocaine and other drugs. He says it's fun and everything's under control, but that's not true - he's really changed. He gets angry easily, and paranoid, too. He also has a new group of real druggie friends who don't like me because I'm straight. Matt's drifting away from me, and I feel awful. I love him, and I hate to see him wasting himself.
Should I call his parents? I know that Matt doesn't get along with them, but I don't know where else to turn. Is there any way to make him quit?
We admire your courage. You're involved in a very difficult and depressing situation. In recognizing Matt's problem-and refusing to be any part of it-you have taken an important step. The reality, though, is that there's probably little you can do to stop him. But you can try. Tell him how serious you feel his problem is, and that his drug use is not only self-destructive,but destroying your relationship, too. Suggest he get some help. Then tell him that you love him, but you can't stay with him unless he stops using drugs.
It's probably not a good idea to contact Matt's parents. That might just push him into an even more explosive situation. We realize how frustrated you must feel and how sad. But Matt has to help himself. And, painful as this is, ifs time for you to start putting distance between you and Matt until he makes some real changes.
My boyfriend Gordy's been avoiding me - and I'm sure it's because his mother hates me. Yesterday he told me not to call so much. But I only call once a day!
When I stop by his house, she's really cold and pretends he's not home. But I know he is. When she finally calls him, he acts embarrassed to see me. I don't know why she doesn't like me, but I'm going to fight to hold on to him. How can I win?
Your best strategy at this point is to have a long talk with Gordy. Get him to tell you exactly what's going on. If the problem is that his mother just doesn't like you, then you two should figure out a strategy for changing her mind. He should talk to her about it and see if he can persuade her to treat you differently. And if your visits annoy her, only stop by when you absolutely have to.
It's also possible Gordy's feeling some ambivalence about the relationship and he's afraid to confront you about it-but his mother isn't. If this turns out to be the case, then, again, there's not much you can do.
But your aggressive behavior isn't helping you get to the bottom of this mystery. You deserve to know the truth about Gordy's - and his mother's - behavior.
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