How to tactfully decline a date
It is better to be honest up front than to embarrass even further in the future.
If you have already given a guy your phone number or agree to go on a date just because you did not want to hurt his feelings, you are a woman needs a game plan and an audit of the reality. Of course, you could have saved a moment of embarrassment by pretending to be interested at first, but now that you have set up for the worst rejection when you blow him later. A better approach? Use one of these polished manners to say “Thanks, but no thank you” – are collected from relations experts, gurus and meeting people who are as knowledgeable as you.
1. Be honest about your feelings
Tell a guy directly that you are just not that into him can make even the most wiggle an outspoken woman. Would it help if we assure you it is a little more harsh reality? And it will spare both you and your fiance anxiety future. Use “I” so he does not think he did anything wrong, says Susan Roane, communications expert and author of What am I saying then? Talk to your way of business and social success. “For example,” I really enjoyed talking with you, but I do not feel a connection “or” I think you’re obviously very good, but I’m looking for something else now and I want to be honest up front about our chances. “This may be a moment of discomfort, but he will walk away and recover. In fact, it will probably thank you for your candor.” Honesty is like a breath of fresh air, “says the Coach David Wygant dating. “The guys thank you.”
2. Reverse the typical gender roles
Let’s say someone comes to ask your number. When you request information at his place rather than giving your own, you put the ball in your court – which means you call the shots. Does not he know that this is a ruse? Most guys say it: “Do whatever he tells me is that she loves being in control,” said Jeff Wesson of Los Angeles. “It’s good for me. Then I’m not responsible when things are going. If she calls, great. If it does not, well. I will not lose sleep.”
3. Reset his sights
If you really enjoyed talking with him (but not enough that you can imagine to do a duet together), do not return empty-handed. Run through a mental checklist of your friends and colleagues singles. If one of them seems to fit the bill better than you, tell him you think he would get along with one friend of yours, take his number or e-mail and offer implemented, recommends Jean E. Carroll, Elle magazine advice guru and author of Mr. Right, Right Now. “If you flatter, you can not hurt his feelings,” she said. “And it can not be complimented if you are suggesting setting up with someone else.”
4. Apologize for the unavailability
Rather than a straightforward rejection, advocates Wygant said, “I’m sorry, I’m not really dating right now” instead. “What it really means, of course, is” I do not meeting, “but at least he can concentrate on being disappointed that he has just met you at the wrong time in your life.”
5. Play the Numbers Game
When you and your admirer have mutual friends, you can repel his advances by making it clear that you do not want to spend time with him in this group context – not as a couple. New York, only Jaime Costa explains how a woman uses the tactic on him: “A really cute girl joined our temporary staff, and on his last day, I said I would take him.
She replied, “Of course, it would be wonderful if we are all gone to – the whole team -. To celebrate “I immediately had the image that she was not interested in something more, but it was always fun to go out like that.” So if someone you like (but not that way) from your circle of friends, ask you out, you can simply respond by saying, “That sounds fun – I will ask others if they can join us!