Tag: dating advices
You better be comfortable following the important rules if you want to play.
1. She’s not going to jump into bed with you. I mean, she might, but it’s not a given. Open is the status of her relationship, not her legs.
2. She’s going to jump into bed with you. I know what I just wrote. But you should prepare your heart / vagina / penis / other body parts for the fact that she may be interested in a hookup — and only a hookup.
3. You have to follow her rules if you want to play. You have the option not to date her, but if you decide to go for it, be aware that there may be certain agreements she’s made with her primary partner, i.e. how often she can see you, or how intense things can be sexually. It’s pretty unlikely those will be adjustable. People in open relationships usually apply a lot of forethought to the architecture of those things.
4. She’s not a “cheater.” She didn’t decide to enter an open relationship because she is fundamentally immoral, a moustache-twirling cartoon villain, or anyone else who is generally careless with the feelings of others. There are reasons monogamy doesn’t work for her. Respect that.
5. If you have any questions about how this is going to work, just ask her. She’s very, um, open. She knows exactly what she needs and she’ll be more than happy to let you know.
6. She’s opinionated, and don’t mistake her for confused. She’s not in an open relationship because she can’t decide on one. She’s in an open relationship because she’s self-assured in her wants and needs, and knows how to execute them.
7. She likes sex. It might not be the sole reason she is conducting additional relationships outside of her primary one — but, yeah, she enjoys it. She enjoys it a lot.
8. You’re going to have to work well with others. Depending on the degree to which things heat up, you may have to make decisions about your relationship with her that factor in other people — namely her partner, or others you’re dating. If you’re the kind of person who would rather write an essay than do the group project, this might not be for you.
9. She’s emotionally mature. Don’t play games. She’s had to assess her perspective, wants, needs, and values, and negotiate those with the perspective, needs, wants, and values of at least one other person and likely even more. She’s not going to sweat the small stuff — unless it’s your brain.
10. You will never, ever be bored with her. Whether it’s for a few minutes, a few hours or a few decades, this will be an experience you won’t forget. So let go of your preconceptions and hold onto your hat, your heart, and the headboard.
How do you really know if it is lust or love. In a life time the average person falls in love at least 4 times. But is it really love? Here are the signs to be aware of before you decide if he is the right one.
Being honest with each other in a relationship is very important and it is also important that you get to know the person properly before you commit yourself. How well do you know him? Is the only talking you do bedroom talk?
You talk openly about life issues such as finances, children, things that frighten you, where you want your life to go.
You can argue and come to some sort of compromise at the end of it.
You are open and honest with each other about your feelings.
You only know his favourite colour, what paper he reads. You are afraid to ask him in depth questions about his life for fear of rejection or what you might find out.
You don’t discuss how you are feeling and often end up resenting each other.
Neither of you is willing to forgive one another.
A long lasting relationship or marriage can’t survive without love. So is it love or are you just kidding yourself?
In a crisis you stand by each other no matter what the result.
You make sacrifices to make the other person happy.
You are truthful and honest and don’t keep secrets from one another.
You are emotionally, physically, and mentally compatible.
You are friends as well as lovers.
When the going gets tough, he gets going.
He has an eye for the ladies and has proved to be untrustworthy.
He lies to you about where he has been and only confesses when you find out the truth.
There is little physical affection, laughter, or communication between the two of you.
He has been unfaithful on numerous occasions.
A relationship is about friendship, respect, and acceptance of one another. When this is lacking, trust and respect is replaced by suspicion which can turn to hatred.
You are aware of your partner’s faults and are able to accept some imperfections.
You support and encourage each other’s individual interests and identity.
You take the time to listen and understand the other person’s opinions.
You criticize each other in front of others.
He will not give you space to indulge in your interests and wants to spend every minute of the day with you.
You are constantly struggling to live up to his standards or the person you think he wants you to be.
You can’t forgive and/or forget each others mistakes.
Let’s face it, when it comes to meeting the next Mr or Ms Right, we could all do with a little help. Here are seven things to keep in mind next time you’re out on a date.
1. Don’t forget your manners
Without getting too Sir Lancelot about things, a little etiquette goes a long way. If she looks nice, tell her that. Maybe open the door as she walks through, or offer your arm as she steps down from the curb – but play it by ear and don’t go too overboard. Also, make sure you remember her eye colour (trust us on this one) and when you’re comfortable, maybe test the waters by leaning in a little closer as she speaks – if she backs away, well, it’s probably not going well.
2. Be confident
Everyone’s nervous on a first date, but there’s nothing more attractive than a bit of self-confidence. When it comes to conversation, stay in your comfort zone by coming up with a few topics that you can talk about easily so you’re not out of your depth too early. But it’s a delicate balance – no one wants to be the guy who bangs on about his comic book collection all night, or what a pro his is on the bench press. If in doubt, ask your date about themselves and go from there.
It sounds simple, but choosing someone with similar interests is a big plus. If you like nothing better than watching the footy over a few beers – and they hate sports with a passion – it’s probably not going to work out. Just be yourself and don’t try to force it.
3. Offer to pay
If it’s a first date, it won’t do you any harm to pay – or at least offer. Quibbling with who should pick up the bill is a bad look and it’s hardly going to give the best first impression. Then again, remember it’s not the 1950s anymore, so it’s perfectly fine to level the score a bit if you end up seeing each other regularly.
4. Keep it casual
Drinks are fine for a first date. After all, no one wants to sit through the seven-course degustation with someone you’ve only just met – especially if you both realise it’s not going to work after the entrees appear. Also, if it’s a first outing, maybe head to a bar you’ve been to before – you’ll at least know your way there, and it’s one less thing you have to worry about. But avoid just heading to your local watering hole – it’s obvious if you’ve chosen somewhere that’s just around the corner from your pad. Try for something that’s convenient for both of you to get to.
It’s perfectly ok to keep first or second dates to weeknights, but anything after the third outing together should be at the weekend. Otherwise, they’re going to wonder what you’re doing that’s so much more interesting than them. Or, worse, who.
5. Be prepared
Your first date is a great opportunity to show her what you’re made of. And trust us, first impressions count for a lot. If you look like you’ve just stepped out of bed, your date is going to think you don’t really care. Get your hair cut, maybe invest in a new outfit, and check your teeth and nails are looking presentable. Plan to arrive a little early, so you’re not flustered when you walk in the door and you’ve got a bit of time to give yourself the quick once-over in the bathroom mirror.
When it comes time to order, play it fairly safe by avoiding anything you’ve never tried before or that’s tricky to eat. As a general rule, if it involves a bib, best to steer well clear. If you’re no wine boffin, go with the most recent vintage white, or drink pinot if you want red because it suits more food than not.
6. Get a second opinion
If you’re a little clueless or just want to make sure you’re on the right track, don’t be afraid to ask your friends for a few pointers. See what they think of the outfit you’re planning to wear, or the venue you want to take your date to. It might mean you end up dodging the restaurant that gave your mate gastro last week, or that you avoid wearing that shirt all your friends hate. You know the one.
7. Eyes in front
Remember, when you’re on a date with someone, they should the centre of attention. Ask them about themselves and pay attention to their answers. And don’t try to get a sneaky look at your watch or phone – and that blonde sitting at the bar who you just checked out? Yep, they saw that, too.
Dating is sometimes harder than it should be. After countless dinners and drinks, it can be tempting to throw in the towel and resign to nights of forever watching Netflix alone in your bed. But when dating is done right, it can be amazing, and those great dates often lead to great relationships. So consider this your dating playbook, with all the information you need to survive the first date.
Go beyond the bar scene
Sure, you might meet the love of your life while sipping gin and tonics, but wouldn’t it be so much cooler to say you met at a mud run? You never know where you’re going to meet the next person you date, so if you’re only looking in one spot (like that bar where you’re a regular) then you’re missing out on tons of possible partners. We know plenty of couples who have met while standing in line at the grocery store, a Target parking lot, even a naked reality show. The takeaway? Love can crop up anywhere, so get out there and keep your eyes open.
Let your friends set you up
No one loves you quite like your friends do, so let them set you up with someone that they can vouch for. “It’s better for single people to meet through friends because there’s a familiarity and comfort that goes with that,” says behavioral scientist Christie Hartman, Ph.D. “A friend setting you up means the guy is ‘vetted’ to some extent.”
So let them play matchmaker—but first, lay down some rules. Make it clear ahead of time that the way the date goes is totally not a reflection on your friend, or you, or the guy. Hey, sometimes chemistry is there, and sometimes it isn’t. So unless your friend is Patti Stanger, remind her that it’s no one’s fault if this goes horribly wrong. (But if it goes totally right, you should probably buy her a drink).
Consider dating your friends
The term “friend zone” should totally be banished—in part, because your friends can sometimes make the best dates. Think about it: Someone you’re already friends with is likely to have similar values, to know your background and your family, and to make you feel ultra comfortable with them. Plus, friendship is the foundation for any relationship, so having that bond established can be key, says relationship expert Jane Greer, Ph.D., author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship.
Focus on first impressions
First dates can be overwhelming, so streamline your focus into making the first few moments count. It takes only 12 minutes for you to decide if you’re interested in the other person (and for them to decide if they dig you) so bring your A-game the second you arrive. To make a stellar first impression, make eye contact, smile, and focus on what he’s saying, according to Susan RoAne, author of How to Work a Room: The Ultimate Guide to Making Lasting Connections—In Person and Online. And don’t forget to check in with yourself, too! You might be so focused on making a flawless first impression that you forget to ask yourself if you’re even into the other person.
Don’t play it cool on a date
We’ve all been told that guys love the chase, but according to research, that’s not exactly true. One study showed that men are more attracted to responsive women, and women who were kind and warm right off the bat. That doesn’t mean being over-the-top eager—you don’t have to laugh at his jokes if they’re not funny—but it’s definitely OK to respond to that text in a timely manner, or tell him how much fun you’re having. Being kind is definitely a turn on, so forget what you’ve been told about playing it ice-cold.
Word-vomit happens, but one way to tank a first date is to admit how long you spent Google stalking him or accidentally blurt out, “Woah, you look exactly like my ex!” The censorship walls can come down after a little bit, but try to steer clear of these awkward comments on a first date, or we’re guessing there won’t be a second one.
Pay attention to how you talk to each other
It’s more than just what you’re saying—it’s how you say it. One study showed that when men talk to a woman they find attractive, they tend to vary their vocal pitch from high to low tones (in a sing-songy way). If you’re looking to analyze the long-term potential, pay attention to the types of words you both use. Another study suggested that people who use the same function words (maybe you both say “quite” and “tons” a lot) are more likely to couple up and stay together.
Follow their gaze
Is it love at first sight? It depends on where their eyeballs land. Research suggests that when someone feels a romantic connection, his or her gaze tends to linger on the other person’s face. When they just feel sexual desire, their eyes tend to wander around the person’s body. During the next date you’re on, follow their gaze. If he’s staring into your eyes all night, there’s a good chance he’s really into you.
Don’t let your friends ruin your vibe
Getting your friends’ (and family’s) opinion on your new beau is essential, but if you ask too soon, it could color your own feelings. One study showed that when opinions were framed differently—saying that “seven out of ten” people liked your date, versus “three out of ten” people didn’t like him—it can seriously affect our own evaluation. So you might want to avoid asking for an outside opinion until you’ve gotten the chance to make one yourself.
Getting her number is half the battle. Once you have it, use it wisely or you’ll never get past “hello.” Women don’t just judge guys based on looks; they’re also drawn to dudes who have a way with words. Treat each phone conversation as if it’s as important as a date, and you’ll impress a girl with your maturity and manners.
Call at an appropriate time, and have a reason for calling. Don’t call early in the morning, too late at night, or when you know she’s tied up at work or school. It’s OK if you’re just calling to chat, but let her know at the beginning of the conversation. Better yet, ask her to get together and turn your phone call into a date.
Speak clearly. Maintain a moderate volume, so she can hear what you’re saying without straining, or without having to pull the phone away from her ear. Use a pleasant tone so she can hear the smile in your voice. When you’re talking to girls on the phone, you need to convey your charm through your voice alone; she can’t see that you’re grinning from ear to ear, but a soft chuckle will give her a clue.
Eliminate distractions when you’re calling a girl. Turn off or lower the volume on the TV or stereo. Step outside if you’re in a noisy, crowded place. If you’re driving in your car, roll up the windows. If there’s too much background noise on your end, you won’t be able to hear her clearly and you’ll be shouting in her ear to compete.
Most anything you do while you’re on the phone is audible to the person on the other end of the line; don’t multitask, chew or flush the toilet. If you need to clear your throat, cough or sneeze, turn away from the phone and excuse yourself. Carrying on a conversation with someone else who’s in the room with you while you’re on the phone with her is a big no-no; it’s immature, rude and disrespectful.
Show interest. Listen when she’s speaking, and don’t interrupt. When she’s finished telling you something, draw her out even more by asking questions. Direct the conversation to topics you both know something about; don’t try to impress her with a monologue about football when you know she isn’t a fan.
End the call gracefully. If the conversation is going strong, by all means, keep talking. As soon as you notice the conversation winding down, or you feel an uncomfortable silence, wrap it up. Maintain an upbeat tone and let her know you’ve really enjoyed talking with her. Instead of making her wonder if you’re bored with the conversation, excuse yourself with a solid excuse — meeting up with a friend, taking the dog for a run — and solidify plans for your next call or an upcoming date.
Who says you have to be rich to plan a perfect night out with your sweetie? The next time you’re feeling romantic, pick from one of these cheap and fun date ideas. You’ll only need a little bit of cash (and maybe a little bit of love) to have a great time.
1. Make Dinner Together
If you’ve got time, start this date out at the grocery store. Pick up dinner fixings, then go back to one of your houses to prepare and eat. Spending time in the kitchen together is a great way to get to know each other – and if the dinner actually turns out good, that’s just icing on the cake. Plus, if your parents are home, this is a slick way of showing them what a good, wholesome couple you are.
2. Go for a Bike Ride
Biking’s a cheap, fun way to get your adrenaline pumping, and it’s great for shy people because there’s no pressure to talk the whole time. Pick a pretty route along a lake or hiking path, or just a quiet residential area by you. Plan it so you end up at an ice cream shop or lunch spot so you can cool off and chat a little.
3. Sing Karaoke
Once you’ve done karaoke in front of someone, there’s really nothing left to hide. Check to see if there are any karaoke nights in your city that allow teens. If there aren’t, pick up a copy of Karaoke Revolution American Idol – it’ll set you back less than 30 bucks (including microphones).
4. Check Out a Weird Museum
Sure, every town has an art museum – but where’s the fun in that? Oddball museums are way more likely to kick-start a conversation. Plus, lots of museums offer free admission on certain weekdays.
5. Go Bowling
Bowling’s an underrated sport. You can do it in all kinds of weather, you don’t have to be all that athletic, you barely sweat and if you show up late enough on weekends, there are colored lights and kitschy music. (Plus, how funky are those shoes?) And if you’re terrible at bowling, the ego boost you’ll give your date will just make them like you more.
6. Have a Picnic in the Park
Throw some sandwiches, cookies and sodas into a bag (or get more sophisticated with some prepared snacks from Whole Foods), head to the park and lay down a blanket in a shady spot. Don’t forget to bring stuff to do when you’re done eating. My top picks: flying a kite, playing jai alai (easier and more fun, in my humble opinion, than frisbee), playing one-on-one basketball or just people-watching.
7. Play Miniature Golf
After all these years, is there really anything more fun than putt-putt? It’s the classic cutesy first date for a good reason: it’s competitive but too whimsical to take seriously, you’re surrounded by people having fun, and the snacks for sale nearby (pizza, milk shakes and chili cheese fries) are cheap and perfect for sharing.
8. Go for a Nature Walk
Pick a pretty place in your town: maybe there’s a beach, a path through the woods, a mountain trail or an arboretum. If you’re not sure where to go, check your city guide. Bring some light snacks from home and take a nice, slow-paced walk, enjoying the scenery together. If you want to make it more interesting, bring a camera and see who can take the best pictures, or make it an earth-saving mission and collect trash along the way.
9. Have a Board Game Night
Board games bring out the competitive edge in people, which makes them perfect for that flirty ribbing that powers first dates. The best board games are made for more than two people, so consider making this one a double date.
10. Go to a Roller Rink
Even if you’re only a so-so skater, a roller skate date is almost always a winner. First of all, it’s romantic: hand-holding is totally inevitable, especially if one of you isn’t so hot on your feet. Second of all, with the high speeds and constant threat of collisions with 7-year-olds getting your adrenaline pumping, you’ll both have an unforgettable blast.
If you’ve developed feelings for one of your best friends, you know how scary it can be. Should you tell your friend you’re in love with them? What happens if they don’t love you back – will you lose their friendship? Get the answers to these questions and more. (The only answer I don’t have is whether or not they like you back. You’ll have to find that one out on your own.)
1. Make Sure You’re Sure You’re Really in Love
There’s a difference between having a passing crush on someone and truly being in love. For instance, if:
You’re on the rebound from another relationship
Your friend is on the rebound and acting vulnerable
Your friend got a new style and has been looking extra cute lately
Your friend just started dating someone, and they’re spending less time with you
Someone said that you and your friend would make a cute couple
You and your friend became close only recently
Then you might just have a temporary crush on your friend. Give it a couple of weeks and see if those feelings disappear on their own. If they do, you’ll be relieved that you never said anything.
2. If It’s the Real Deal, Is It the Right Time?
Even if you’re sure of your feelings, you shouldn’t necessarily reveal them to your friend. Don’t drop the bomb under any of these circumstances:
If they’re dating someone, it would be unfair to sabotage their relationship by sharing your feelings.
If you’re in a relationship, you need to decide who’s more important to you. If your friend wins out, then you should break up with your bf/gf no matter what. It’s not fair to date someone who’s only 2nd place in your heart.
If your friend’s going through some major stress – like if they’ve got a big game or test coming up, or if they’re coping with the death of a relative – hold your tongue until their stress has passed. It would be selfish of you to throw them one more bowling pin to juggle.
3. How to Tell Your Friend That You Love Them
So you’ve decided that you really do love your friend and that the timing is right. Here are some tips on how to tell them the big news:
Don’t just blurt it out in the middle of a conversation. Plan on a time and place where you can be alone with them, face to face.
Look in their eyes and drop the bomb with a short statement like, “I’m beginning to like you as more than a friend.”
Don’t use the word “love,” even if you’re sure you’re feeling it. “Love” is a big word, and you might scare your friend off whether they have feelings for you or not.
Keep your tone upbeat. If you act like you’re revealing something horrible to them, they might react like it’s bad news.
4. What If They Don’t Like You Back?
By having this conversation with your friend, you’ve made the decision that it’s more important to reveal your feelings than to live a lie by hiding them any longer. Even if your friend doesn’t like you back, you’re still better off than you were before, because now you know how they feel about you. (I know, I know…it doesn’t feel like much of a consolation prize.)
Your friend is probably hoping that you’ll both be able to forget this conversation ever happened and go back to being friends. That might not be so easy for you. If it hurts too much to hang around your friend, take some time to get over your feelings. You might be able to be friends again down the road, but don’t rush it. Do what’s best for your heart.
Is falling in love worth the risk? Should I guard my heart? These are questions every man asks when he thinks he’s falling in love.
When my wife and I began dating almost twenty years ago, I knew there was something different about her. My best friend was marrying her best friend and, although she and I had met, we really didn’t know each other. By the end of our best friends’ wedding weekend, she and I were dating.
There were so many things running through my head as our relationship progressed. Did I really want to fall in love now? Is this just convenient? How could I be sure she was the one?
Nearly 20 years later, I know falling in love with her was the best decision I ever made. Looking back, I could have been assured falling in love with her was a wise decision a lot sooner if I had asked myself five simple questions. If the answers to these questions are positive, she may just be worth lowering your defenses and falling in love with.
What type of trail does she leave behind?
Does she leave a trail of negative or positive outcomes? Did her past relationships fail due to her actions? Does she still have a good relationship with previous employers or did she leave in a negative way?
Don’t get me wrong: people can change. The problem is most don’t. Most people have previous relationships that didn’t work out. There is usually a pattern, and patterns typically continue to happen. So if she cheated on someone else with you, don’t be surprised if she cheats on you in the future. If she settled for her past relationship and left as soon as something better came along, take notice.
Looking back, I could have assured myself that my wife was the one. She had previous relationships, but not very many. The few she had were relatively long-term and they all ended peacefully. She had a pattern of only dating if she was serious about a relationship. She also had strong relationships with all of her former employers, which showed me she left on good terms. This also showed me she didn’t create a lot of drama. Study her past for a glimpse into her future.
Who does she spend time with?
I believe with all my heart that I can predict your future simply by seeing who you choose to spend time with. Understand that you are not going to like all her friends and they aren’t all going to like you. Don’t judge her based on one or two of her friends. Judge based upon the actions of the majority of her friends.
If all her friends are boring, make sure you are okay with boring. If all her friends are partiers, make sure you are okay with partying. If all her friends run around on their boyfriends, be careful. If all her friends are focused on their futures, odds are she will be as well.
My wife had friends that I enjoyed being around. (She still does.) I love to laugh, and her friends always seemed to have a good time. When we met, my wife’s friends were all in college working toward brighter futures. There were lines that most of her friends wouldn’t cross, and that was appealing to me.
Take a look at who she chooses to spend time with and it will give you a clue as to who she will become.
Is she focused on herself or others?
This gets to the core of who she is as a person. Does she have compassion? Is she forgiving of others or overly judgmental? Is it always about her? In order for relationships to work, the people involved cannot be selfish. Selfishness is the seed that blooms into action. Selfish action eventually causes most relationships to fail.
Tough times will come. If she’s selfish, she is more likely to quit than to try to work things out when the tough times come. Again, tough times will come. Be prepared.
My wife has always loved kids. She worked at a juvenile detention center when we first started dating because she loved helping kids that had not seen much compassion in their lives. Looking back, this should have assured me that she would support me when I made mistakes. It proved we had a similar desire to help others.
If she is focused on others, she will likely do the same in your relationship.
Opposites may attract, but similarities make them stay
How similar are you? Do you share similar beliefs spiritually or politically? These beliefs usually strengthen over time. This means any divide between you could grow wider and cause friction.
Are you similar physically? If you’re 100 pounds overweight, don’t expect the yoga instructor to stay interested over time. Do you have a similar vision of your future? If she wants kids and you don’t, you will eventually have a problem.
When my wife and I were dating, we talked about everything. There were areas we disagreed about, but for the most part we had the same beliefs and were in similar physical condition. We shared a common vision of what our marriage would look like in the future. These similarities have helped us grow closer while other married friends who were not similar drifted apart.
It is exciting to date someone who is completely opposite of you. Just understand that that excitement will eventually wear off.
Does she inspire you to be a better man?
Have you thought about changing some things you’ve always done? Are you more focused on your future since you started dating her? Are you more health-conscious, goal-oriented, or motivated to be a better man because of her?
My wife is my most trusted adviser and personal cheerleader. She encourages me when I need encouragement and gives me a kick in the pants when it’s needed. It hurts when I disappoint her because I want to be the best I can be for her. She inspires me and makes me strive to grow in all areas of my life. If she inspires you to be a better man, then she just might be the one.
Times have changed, and so have the rules regarding the biggest game of your life.
The biggest secret of this world is that each one of us wants to love and be loved. Dating in a relationship is important because it allows you to get to know the person you are in a relationship with, while having a good time. Dating helps to reveal any potential problems you may have if you pursue a more serious relationship with a person, and it sets the foundation for long term relationship.
The “old maid” stigma is long gone. Some couples are opting to have families, live together and share a life without tying the knot. Marriage is a beautiful thing, but a long-term, satisfying relationship equals happiness, and is a perfect fit for many. Dating is also healthy as it releases some happy hormones such as endorphins. So let us see the eight new rules of dating in this modern world.
Rule 1: No More Waiting Game
It’s done. Dead. Over! Yes, no more waiting “three days” after a date to contact your new love interest. As the dating rule book certainly isn’t law, don’t wait three days to call her/him — just do it. If you had an amazing first date, text your date the very next day and let him/her know how you feel about.
Rule 2: He asks, She pays
The one traditional dating “do” that still stands is the general belief that men are supposed to make the first move and pay on dates. However, as per an Elle/MSNBC dating survey, 57% of women would offer to pick up the check on a date. The best win-win situation in this scenario is to split the check. Therefore, in modern era of dating world, gender roles are negotiable. Sometimes the lady wants to pay for a night out and sometimes it’s the other way around. This means our old fashioned dating rules have become a little more flexible nowadays, and that is a wonderful thing. Embrace it!
#Rule 3: Ensure Every Date Is Fun
Not only does trying to make your date happy makes you feel good, but it is also one of the first signs of attraction. Studies have shown that when taking someone out on a date, the primary factor that will determine the success of the event is how much fun it was. The couples who go on adventurous trips, camping, snorkeling or visiting theme parks together experience much more fun than couples who doesn’t go anywhere.
#Rule 4: Your Past Is Always Present
Prepare to be Googled. Your dates are digging for your past before they even shake hands. If you were arrested 20 years ago at a protest, be prepared to talk about it. If your jazz group has a review in the local paper, your date may be humming one of your tunes. If your past is less than savory, be prepared to explain.
#Rule 5: 40 Is the New 30
It’s not just Jennifer Aniston and Demi Moore who look amazing and decades younger than they actually are. We are all living longer these days, and in many cases, aging a lot more gracefully. Maybe it’s time to reconsider widening your dating age parameters.
#Rule 6: Do Not Ignore Red Flags
While it’s important to give your date a fair shot, it’s also important to NOT ignore glaring signs of incompatibility, misaligned value systems or rambunctious behaviors. If you’re uncomfortable around someone, pay attention to the red flags. Don’t force yourself to stay in a bad situation, or to say yes to a date that you know, without a doubt, can lead nowhere. So wait for your Mr. / Miss Right.
#Rule 7: The World Is Smaller Than Ever
Thanks to the technology, the world has become a smaller place. Through Skype, Hangout, Yahoo Messenger, Face time etc., you can even manage long distance relationship and can enjoy your virtual dates.
Moreover, marriage does not give the license to kill dating. You must plan a romantic date with your soulmate once a week whether it is cooking a gourmet meal or dining out at new restaurant. You can also go on a long-drive to the beach and catching a sunset or strolling hand in hand in the park, around a lake or pond and feeding ducks. Therefore, you should never think that if you are married, you should not go on date; but, you should always go on a date to know your better half better.
#Rule 8: End It Well
Most dating relationships end either in marriage/live-in relationships or with people going their separate ways — that’s the dating adventure. Make it your goal to end it well. Cherish the relationship for what it is, respect the person you’re with, and if it’s not meant to be, walk away from the relationship having given it your best and with no regrets.
To sum up, it is the same advice your mom gave you on the first day of school: Be yourself. Present yourself authentically, laugh at the things you find funny, share your personal viewpoints on topics, wear your favorite geeky sweater and give your date an opportunity to get to know the real you.
Feigning interest in favorite activities just to land a date will likely lead to disappointment.
Guys want genuine women in their lives. They want to know who you are and what you’re about right from the start. Women don’t want their guy to change mid-relationship, and guys want the same thing from a partner. Knowing this, I’ve compiled a list of the top nine things that my male listeners and readers feel should never, ever be fake about you:
1. Share interests of your man
Women often feign interest in activities they would never normally do to get to the first date with a man and keep things moving along once they see each other. Do not go crazy for his favorite football team, develop a love of rafting or suddenly feel like Ethiopian food if these things are simply not true of your character. It will eventually see through or be greatly disappointed when he did not get the outdoorsy woman he has always dreamed of a time you tired. A man prefers to admit from the start that you try something new just because of him to act like you absolutely love something you totally hate your life.
2. Friendships with other men
Do not act like your friends are purely platonic guy when you actually dated (or hung) in the past with some of them. The guys understand that you can be friends after the romance ends, but they really want to know whether or not the bill that you had lunch with every day is just a buddy at work or an old flame . Your friend does not know another guy you intimate details without their knowledge. Be honest about what area of your life is key in how he chooses to interact with them and whether or not he will accept your friendship with these men.
3. What do you want out of the relationship
Be clear about what you love. Do not tell her you want something relaxing when you know you have already planned the wedding in your head. Do not say you want to move when you are juggling 10 other guys on the side. He wants to know what is the purpose of your game of seduction so he can decide whether to continue to play along. In addition, the relaxation in a relationship does not guarantee that you will get something deeper down the road with him if you change your mind.
4. Your opinion about his circle of friends
Do not act like you like her friends and family when you do not really. The men were caught in this trap many times in the belief that their wife was comfortable around – and even enjoyed spending time with – their inner circle, only to discover months later that she was really unhappy. He much preferred that you have been honest about why people love being around you and those you do not like. Many relationships are lost when an annoying friend or family member is still there. Let him know your true feelings about his circle so he can make adjustments to make you more comfortable.
5. Your overall look
Men love a beautiful woman, if she is full of natural or glamorous. However, most believe that you should be just as amazing to 6 hours you have been to dinner the night before. The men the magic of makeup, heels and even Spanx – but they want the “natural” you are just as captivating. In addition, they want you to be as confident and sexy without all the accessories you are with them.
6. What are the goals you want to achieve in the future
Do not approach him as a girl’s career high, and then once you move in together or get married, decide to stop working to stay home all the time. Men like to think they know what type of partner, you will be on the road, and if you are secretly hidden a passion for work abroad, becoming a soccer mom, or dig a few degrees warmer, it needs to know this so that it can take a more informed decision about your overall relationship compatibility. The truth is, it has a picture of family life “ideal” in his mind – as you do.
7. Your desires in the bedroom
Some women get all the “big” in the room at the beginning of the relationship to calm after a man is hooked. Men think that the way a sexual relationship begins where it should stay, and if you play around and pretend to be something you’re really not in order to obtain a ring, it will be devastated. Be your true self in the room and you have a better chance to build a lasting relationship.
8. What you find attractive about him
Why are you interested? Why are you here? If you are interested in him only because he is a wonderful lover, tell him that. If you are only interested in him because he is powerful and effective, be honest about it, too. Most men (and women) know their strengths and weaknesses. He’ll know what really see in him and will be greatly surprised if your actions and your words in line with his thoughts. Bottom line, he wants to know what attracted you in the first place so it can maintain and keep your interest over time.
9. Your romantic history
Be clear about your past relationships and romance. He wants to know who should be aware of who you most evil, that one is “one that got away” and you have to deal with on a regular basis because of things like children , a job or a family member. Men do not want to be surprised by your former lovers, and they also want to try to avoid doing things that let you down or hurt you in the past with men.