“If we were careful, we could catch the first spark that we couldn’t be aware of but would drag us into discussion!”
While it is a fact that the definition of happiness has changed by everyone, the belief that tensioned debates in relationships are also required is developed. These discussions are said to keep the excitement alive. It is even called the “taste salt” of the relationship for debates and quarrels.
However, when we look at the long-term or marriage-completed relationships around us, we see that continuing these discussions does not really end with a happy ending. As an example, what a newly-married couple tells us shows this. The two working couples argue because there is no food at home, and the debate grows so much that they decide to divorce.
“So, what can we do? What’s the solution?”
Who draws attention to the first occurrence in the discussions in relationships. If we are careful, we can catch the first spark that we are not aware of but will lead us to discussion. This is such a spark that it will change the size of the discussions and put it under obligation to be right or wrong after a while. Many of us actually see this spark, but we can’t follow the thoughts that come next. Since the “right or wrong” situation will come into play, the logical explanation sentences that begin with “I am right because…” will appear after him, emphasizing the process and determination of the discussion.
Here are 5 ways to save your relationship
Track your reactions
Discussions are determined in advance with the method we call monitoring thoughts and reactions, and when the commands in the monitoring applications are executed, the discussion ends before it starts. In the therapies we do on couples, they explain that they can no longer find a reason to argue with each other, that they make it a game and turn it into a joke.
It’s up to you to stop the discussion
Experts stated that he established himself for discussion with the voice inside the people before the discussion;
“Come, I’ll show him.”
“I know I will.”
“He’s always doing that.”
“He had done this before.”
These and similar sentences say that they established themselves for discussion with their inner voices. The main theme of all discussions is the same. He defends that he is right on both sides and tries to prove. But the whole point is to control that reaction and create that idea that will smile and raise awareness: “I am aware that we will discuss it shortly. But do I want to have this discussion?
We have to look at ourselves through his / her eyes
Experts say that couples could not empathize during the discussion and tension. At the time of the discussion, both parties cannot see the event through each other’s eyes, it is right in itself. Then voices rise, and both sides will highlight past events to prove that they are right. The other party will respond immediately by reminding him of his past. This situation will prolong this way and both sides will lose. “It will be broken and upsetting each other, and worse still, this incident will be subconsciously, it will always come to the mind of the couple in the future.
Remember your best moments
When the discussion begins to intensify, immediately start monitoring the reactions and consider the best moments you have had with your partner. Remember a nice holiday or the first excitement of marriage. Make sure he loves you very much. Do not forget that neither of you has a fault in the discussion, you are controlled by a virus. Be the first to raise awareness and win. If you cannot cope with the discussion, try to get away from it. Remember, the discussion will continue as long as you are side by side. Take a bath and take a shower. After a while, the virus has calmed down and the virus that takes you under control will have passed.
To be able to say “you are right”
When the debate starts to intensify, think like a bomb has been thrown into the area where you are both and the fire is getting worse. Every sentence you say will be “throwing wood on fire”. Now, because the situation is out of control, regardless of who is right or wrong, the party that provided the awareness first, “Yes, I think you are right. That I couldn’t think like that. ”Will end the discussion. Your spouse who shouts and calls you will realize that he has broken you after a while and will try to come and take your heart. Of course, we are talking about non-violent discussions here. For violent discussions, you should inform the authorities and seek professional help.
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