Deception, one of the most important problems in relationships, is a devastating situation all over the world. A lot of people say im darling, my wife doesn’t cheat on me ve and live their lives accordingly. Otherwise, he has no preparedness to accept and deal with the deceit. There is an act that can steal relationships, happiness and identities from a couple’s hands.
Although infidelity, which is a kind of violation of the boundaries of relationship, is a very common behavior, its nature is not well understood. In real life, 60 to 75 percent of couples continue their marriages despite their disloyalty. We need to understand the dynamics before the trial; why, how, when, what is the intention?
In a simple definition, deception means that the standards and expectations in the existing relationship are violated as a result of an emotional and / or physical relationship with the third person (s) outside the existing association.
What are the reasons for cheating?
What you usually find in the center of deception is longing and desire for an emotional bond, for innovation, for freedom, for independence, for sexual intensity. It is a wish or an effort to fulfill the lost life energy to find the lost part again. At this point we can say that the attempt to find what he is looking for deception.
The woman says, ne What did she find in that she is cheating on her like a rose? Erkek, and the man says, im I am status and wealthy, how does my wife cheat on me with my driver? ” Individual nature is formed on the need to belong, to be cared for, to be self-confident, to see value. When these relationships are not met, a feeling of loneliness emerges and the person tries to eliminate loneliness.
On the other hand, deception can be called ‘seeking another self’. So, for example, when a woman explains her motivation to deceive, she may say that she is feeling someone who cleans the house, cooks, takes care of children, waits for her husband, gets away from being a weary woman and gets a compliment, an approved, strong feeling. The basic need for feeling sufficient, valuable and special here is the desire to be desired in short.
According to the data, 25% of men and 11% of women are cheating at least once during their marriage. So, is every deception happening in unhappy marriage dynamics? It’s not just the result of unhappy marriages. He used to change his partner because he was unhappy and now he’s showing this trend with the expectation that he might be even more happy. 56% of cheating men and 34% of women have a happy marriage. This is confusing. There is a kind of impulse coming into play here, maybe seeking excitement, maybe meeting unnoticed shortcomings in a forbidden relationship.
Although it is a feature attributed to men, we can say that women tend to deceive. In fact, due to the fact that women are more involved in working life, the difference between the ratios between men and women has decreased, as access to other people is easier. However, there is a difference for women to achieve more emotional satisfaction than the emotional satisfaction in their relationship, while for men, sexuality is a priority.
Another question is why people are cheating instead of leaving?
Lust, love and devotion, which are three different brain systems in man, do not always manifest at the same time and work interdependently. Therefore, while feeling loyalty to a long-term partner, love can also be felt to someone else. A safe and specific area has been created with the spouse who has a marital bond. People do not want to leave this area easily. Thus, both the need for love and commitment are met at the same time.
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