Not being able to say “no” is a problem that many people experience during the day. It can be even more difficult to say no, especially if the other person is someone with whom we have close relationships. In women, this problem is seen more than men.
Why is it so difficult and what are the damages?
First of all, as a tendency to avoid engaging in conflict with people or because we do not want to have a negative impact on people, no can be said. But saying yes to things we don’t want can also make you unhappy. Apart from entering the conflict, if the person is someone you care about, not wanting to break that person and worrying that the relations between you will deteriorate can also push this behavior.
You may also be afraid to say no to an authority figure, for example, to your bosses, but as a result you may put on an unnecessary workload and reduce your motivation. Lack of self-confidence and shyness are other problems that may cause this problem. Sometimes your ego is used to saying yes; when you say no, you will be a bad and selfish person, and you may be focused on accepting.
Sometimes the harm of not being able to say no can be as light as going to the movies at the will of a friend when you don’t want to. But sometimes the cost of making decisions that you don’t want or choosing a profession that you don’t want can lead to other people’s choices and lead to serious harm to your life. According to the researches, it was observed that being able to say no in the face of any situation that he did not want while being able to say no makes him happy psychologically.
How can we say no?
First, you can create a list of jobs you have to do because you can’t say no to see how much this problem affects your life. You can analyze how you feel about not being able to say no to the things you write on the list, so you can review yourself.
Then you can start saying no by starting with small questions. For example, you can refuse a close friend’s invitation politely and clearly by saying that you do not want it.
Sometimes the way you express what you say rather than what you say may come to the forefront. Therefore, when you say no, you should be careful to express your emotions as much as possible, with a clear and harsh temperament.
Saying no will not be so hard for you unless you start to see that saying no slowly makes you feel happier and more comfortable. After friends, you can also try to say no to people where it’s more difficult for you to say no. Remember that your happiness is more important than anyone else, and if you’re happy, you’re going to make people around you happy.
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