The right amount of jealousy can bring you closer to your lover. But remember that there is a thin line between being deeply in love and insanity. Do not become indecisive by going back and forth between the two. If you do not keep jealousy in moderation and exaggerate it, you may be the loser in this relationship.
The Other Side of Jealousy
Can jealousy, which is seemingly considered a negative emotion, actually add movement and passion to a monotonous relationship? If you get angry when your boyfriend woos other women, you’re ready to take the relationship to the next level, says Laura Guerrero, a communications professor at Arizona State University. Besides, every man would appreciate the presence of a woman who bares her teeth to protect him from other women.
When you get jealous, does he accuse you of being stupid, or does he apologize for making you uncomfortable? If he despises your jealousy, you may understand that he is not as committed to you as you think.
In a long-term relationship, you may fan the flames of passion through jealousy. Communication Professor Heidi Reeder from Boise State University says that people need to remember romance and the feeling of ownership.
The Nature of Jealousy
Othello, the famous character created by Shakespeare, was wrong. Jealousy expressed in moderation can have great benefits for the relationship. But we should not forget this: Whether the relationship is on solid ground or hits a hard rock largely depends on how you express your feelings. Follow the ways we will show you to suppress your jealousy;
If You Are Jealous
Be aware of your real point
If you clearly state the issue that irritates you, you will fight less. In addition, you should also eliminate triggering factors. If photos of your boyfriend and his ex on Facebook drive you crazy, you should delete the person who gave you access to those photos. According to a study published in CyberPsychology & Behaviour, sites like Facebook are a big factor in triggering jealousy.
Try to remain calm
If you don’t like something, trust your intuition but keep your reactions under control. Doctor Amir Levine, one of the authors of the book Attached, recommends that you first calm down and weigh your thoughts instead of immediately starting to pester your lover when something upsets you. Talk to him later. This way, you will communicate better and make it easier for him to understand you better.
If He’s Jealous…
Comfort him
If one of your ex-boyfriends has been accepted to your company and your girlfriend has a problem with this, you should try not to get jealous. For example, you can make your boyfriend feel better by making negative comments such as “I always felt sleepy when I was with him” or “he gained a lot of weight over time.”
Do not fight
If he catches you cutting a nice guy on the street, don’t try to deny it or say he’s looking elsewhere. You can cover up the situation by saying that you look very similar to someone you were in the same class with in high school or that you really like the jacket he is wearing…
Be moderate
Men are not very good at hiding their jealousy. You should focus on finding solutions rather than trying to understand his feelings. You should think about how you can comfort him and even consult him for this.
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