Confucius once said, “Happiness is a journey, not a destination. Many seek happiness higher than man, some lower. In fact, happiness is in line with the height of people.” he said. In the dictionary, happiness is defined as “the state of being proud of achieving all aspirations completely and continuously”. So how do psychiatrists and psychotherapists describe the way to find happiness?
Hundreds of definitions have been made for happiness. Happiness for the couple, on the other hand, can be defined as the state of satisfaction created by the complete fulfillment of emotional needs. The secretion of hormones such as melatonin, serotonin and endorphins in the body has an effect on happiness. The increase in these hormones is felt as happiness in the whole body. It is possible to be happy alone, but it is an emotion that increases exponentially when there is someone we feel close to.
There are situations that usually make everyone happy. Money coming from an unexpected place, eating a nice meal when hungry, buying a new car, passing an exam, eating chocolate are common situations that make everyone happy. Among immaterial happiness, listening to a song we love, a child’s smile, a hug, being loved, waking up on a sunny spring day, and having a satisfying sexuality can be counted. In fact, things that last long, are permanent, real and sincere make a person feel more happy.
What qualities are important for partners to have in order to be happy in a relationship? How to find happiness in a relationship?
Being happy in a relationship is something that varies from couple to couple. It should be known that there is no eternal happiness. Just as the personality traits of the partners are important, the bond between them is also important. The relationship can be thought of as a living organism. Well; Just as any living thing has needs, they also have needs for the continuity of relationships. If people realize these needs and do what is necessary, the relationship becomes continuous and happy.
Partners have expectations of each other. However, most of the time, the person who has expectations does not realize that he has to meet the expectations of the other person. Relationships in which one is a constant giver and the other simply a receiver do not bring happiness. There is a mutual exchange on the road to happiness. In addition, the expectations of the partners from each other; the more and the more unreal the relationship becomes strained and the happiness flies away.
In general, the expectations of the partners from each other can be summarized with 13 items:
1. Being open and honest
2. take your time
3. listen
4. Trying to understand
5. Being tolerant
6. Being romantic
7. Paying attention to sexuality
8. Expressing love
9. Not being critical and judgmental
10. Appreciation for what they do
11. Getting your opinion
12. Giving information
13. To be respected
To achieve happiness, it is not enough for partners to meet each other’s expectations alone. The proximity of partners is also important. Touching, hugging, dreaming together, making surprises are also important.
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