Jealousy, which is one of the most dangerous feelings in the relationship between men and women, is very difficult for many to overcome. Even though the behaviors of jealous people are considered normal, they are not the same for the jealous person. How does jealousy affect the relationship between men and women? What are the reasons behind jealousy?
The jealousy, which is a very weary feeling, is the founder of Reem Neuropsychiatry Center. Mehmet Yavuz tells the story. Jealousy is a sense of ownership, the inability to share an object or person. Jealousy is a natural emotion that exists in human nature. The socially accepted form of jealousy is to care for the people we see in our environment, which we can call envy or emulation, to want to be like them without compromising their self.
While the aim is to develop and motivate one’s self, in the case of jealousy, the motivation is replaced by ambition and negative thoughts that are gnawing in the person’s head. We can distinguish these two emotions by looking at the different intensities of the two and the emotions that the person evokes. In children whose personality is not yet established, all emotions are experienced intensively and jealousy is expressed in verbal and behavioral expressions. We have often seen children jealous of their friends and wanting to hurt them. This can be seen in adulthood if some processes occur.
Our most common form is the one in romantic relationships. Excessive ownership not only disturbs the jealous, but it is also dangerous (disturbing) for the person living in the extreme. Both the sense of jealousy itself and the behaviors triggered by the accompanying thoughts and thoughts can make an individual’s life irresistible. Of course, for the jealous person who is the other pole to which the clamp is aimed, the situation is not very revealing. If the emotion is experienced at the point of harm, the jealous person must be treated.
What is the basis of jealousy
Although there are many problems underlying the sense of jealousy, the most common ones are lack of self-confidence, fear of not trusting and fear of losing the opposite side.
The jealous person may have experienced some events in the past that would shake his trust. Some events in early childhood may adversely affect a person’s mental development. For example, the disintegration of one’s family may be an important factor due to problems between parents. The fact that one or both of the parents has a big problem, such as being deceived and being careless and careless, including children in the family at an early age, causes the feeling of jealousy to be exposed to incidents such as abandonment and deceit in later life.
The person who is exposed to these events does not need to experience intense feelings of jealousy during adolescence and adulthood or to experience a confusing event with the person whom he / she has romantic relationships in order to trigger this feeling. One can experience this emotion frequently and intensely obsessively without any symptoms. Fear of losing, deprivation of love is extremely devastating for the person.
One might think that jealousy will protect him from these negative consequences. Anger, worthlessness, unhappiness and loneliness can also be accompanied by feelings of helplessness. The jealous person thinks that he is not valuable and experiences a lack of self-confidence. It makes it difficult for both parties by reflecting its insecurity to the person they are with.
However, some events between male and female in bilateral relations may cause excessive feeling of jealousy. For example, if a person is constantly humiliated, deemed inadequate and subjected to constant criticism by his wife, it may lead to jealousy of the person’s lack of self-confidence and the fear that he will lose his wife. In fact, the main reason for the person who humiliates and insults his wife may be his insecurity and fear of being abandoned. He may want to make his wife dependent on him by seeing his wife worthless to prevent them from leaving. Of course, it is almost impossible for a person to notice because all this is not experienced at the level of consciousness.
If you love, you should be jealous
The romantic relations proceed in a healthy way when the parties are not involved in each other’s lives. The important thing is to respect the privacy of others. It is normal for a person to feel the fear of losing the person he loves. It is a cute feeling that two people who love each other are jealously jealous of each other, but extreme clamping is not a feeling of love. It is caused by insecurity and lack of self-confidence and is completely unhealthy. Extreme love comes from addiction.
If a person does not know what to do without the person he / she is with, he / she is jealous if he / she acts in all his / her plans and cannot tolerate otherwise. This type of love is certainly boring and suffocating. In healthy relationships, couples can exist in the same pot without melting each other’s selves. They value each other’s different tastes and desires. Couples care for each other, they get jealous, but they don’t bore each other. Jealousy is difficult to overcome for both sides.
Continue Reading: How overjealous people behave?
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