by George Burns
HEY, that chapter title isn't bad. But the problem is, I'm locked in now and have to do a chapter on attitudes. I don't have a lot to say about attitudes. I didn't want to do a chapter on attitudes. But I thought of this clever title, so now I'm stuck with it.
I wanted to do a chapter on the secrets of longevity but I didn't have a good title. And it would have been a great chapter because I have a lot of secrets I could tell. But you'll never hear them because I'm committed to attitudes. Okay, I'll write it, but I won't enjoy it. Well, here we go:
My dear readers, if you want to live to be over 100, you've got to have a positive attitude. If I say so myself, I have a positive attitude. I figure I'm 87 years old and I've had a wonderful life, and I see no reason why the next half shouldn't be as good. Anyway, I'm going to stick around and find out.
Let's take the other George. When he was freezing with his troops at Valley Forge, Pennsylvania, did Washington get discouraged? No. He said, "Men, it could be worse. We could all be freezing in New Jersey." With that positive attitude he went on to defeat the British, become our first President and one of our greatest Americans, even though he wasn't born on the Lower East Side like the rest of us. But you've got to respect the other George. He was a leader of men and a follower of women. (That line seems to call for a comment, or as we say in show business-a topper. Oh well, maybe I'll think of one after I've had my coffee.) Then there was Ponce de Leon. He kept searching through the jungles of Florida, looking for the Fountain of Youth. Everybody told him it was a waste of time, but he kept on searching. He had a positive attitude right up to the day he died at the age of 26. I never understood Ponce very well. They give him credit for discovering Florida-but why shouldn't he discover it?-he was there anyway.
Some people never get discouraged. When General Custer was surrounded by all those Indians at Little Big Horn, did he worry and get gray hair over it? We'll never know-they never found his scalp.
Maybe the best example of a positive attitude was little David when he fought Goliath. Everybody told him he was crazy-Goliath would step on him, break him in half, chew him up and sp it him out.
The odds were 100 to 1 against David. Even his mother bet against him. But that didn't faze David.
He knew he could take care of that big lummox with his little slingshot. And he did. The match was over before you knew it, and David's mother wouldn't talk to him for a week. But the point is, with that positive attitude, how could he lose? On the other hand, Coliath had just as positive an attitude. How come he lost? Why did I bring that up? it confuses the whole issue.
I still know one thing: it doesn't hurt to have a positive attitude. Even if you're going to fail, be positive about it. That way you'll be a successful failure.
Another attitude I'm in favor of is thinking young. As they get older, too many people tend to hang around with each other and compare ailments and gravy stains. That might be fun, but it's good to mix with younger people, too. I love being around young people. I figure maybe some of that youth will rub off on me. And maybe some of what I've got might rub off on them; that is, if it doesn't drop off before I meet them.
Some older people get depressed around young people. it reminds them of how young they used to be themselves. Not me. I look at those young people and see how young I still am. There's only one thing they can do better than I can. Well, maybe not better, just more often.
The idea is to keep a young mind and a healthy body. I have a young mind, and I'm taking a healthy body to the Bistro for dinner tonight.
Look, I don't want anyone to get the idea that I don't like old people. I love old people. Some of my best friends were old. Let me clear something up for you. When I say I think young, it doesn't mean I'm trying to be young. I'm not trying to be an 18-year old, or even a 20-year old. I don't wear tight jeans. If I did, it would only be to help me stand up. And I don't go surfing. Until the other day I thought "hang 10" was a Chinese restaurant. I don't cruise Hollywood Boulevard Friday nights. To me a cruise is ten days on the S. S. Leviathan. Who am I kidding? My hair is gray. If I wanted black hair, I'd buy it that way.
When I talk about thinking young, I'm talking about enthusiasm, keeping active, having plans, projects for tomorrow, meeting people, doing things; I look to the future, because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life. A lot of people are too quick to decide that their life is over. And if you really think your life is over, and you have no place to go, I advise you to take very short steps. It'll take you longer to get there.
I feel sorry for people who live in the past. I know it was cheaper then, and I know that some people had very interesting pasts, but you can't keep looking in a rearview mirror-unless you enjoy having a stiff neck. Old memories are fine, but you've still got time to make new memories.
I don't live in the past, I live in a house in Beverly Hills. It's more comfortable. Actually, you may not believe this, but it's true. I don't surround myself with memorabilia. I don't waste time looking through scrapbooks of my career or rereading my old reviews-they were painful enough to read the first time. I don't even watch my old movies. I'm not interested in what happened yesterday, I find it's best to fall in love with what you're doing today. The things I did yesterday I was in love with yesterday. But that romance is over. I'm very fickle.
When people get a little older they are frightened to make a change in their lives. It's easier to stay in that same safe rut. To me that challenge is exciting. Some of the things I didn't want to do turned out to be the best things I ever did. At 79 I became a dramatic actor and did The Sunshine Boys, and at 81 I played "God." In fact, I made two "God" pictures. If they make another one and will pay me, I'll be glad to come down again. When I was 84 Charlie Fach of Mercury Records came to me with a country song called "I Wish I Was 18 Again" and wanted me to sing it. I said to him, "I was born in New York, I' ve got a New York accent, I can't be a country singer." Then Charlie told me how much they were going to pay me and I said, "Pardner, I've got a hankerin' to sing your lil ole song." Then I moseyed down and signed the contract. I'm happy to say the song turned out to be a hit even though I had never hankered before. I just finished my third country album, and as long as they play in my key I'll keep on hankerin'. I'm getting so country I might even buy myself a spread like those other country singers. And I might even get myself three or four hundred head of cattle. If I like the heads, I'll get the bodies to go with them. Look, when I hanker, I hanker.
There's an old saying, "Life begins at 40." That's silly-life begins every morning when you wake up. Old sayings . . . why are the sayings always old? Like "Life is just a bowl of cherries"-why aren't there new sayings? I think 1'11 make up a new saying: "Life is just a bowl of tangerines." Oh yeah-remember at the early part of the chapter where I did a line about George Washington, and I couldn't think of a topper because I hadn't had my coffee? Well, I just had my coffee, and here's the line and the topper: "He was a leader of men and a follower of women." Which is better than being a leader of women and a follower of men. . . . Well, the coffee wasn't so hot either.
Okay, back to attitude. Just because you're old it doesn't mean you can't lead a full, vigorous, and active life. Open your mind to it, don't just sit there-do things. Swim the English Channel; find a cure for the common cold; be the first to go over Niagara Falls in a rocking chair; think of some new old sayings. You see, the possibilities are endless.
if all else fails, try doing something nice for somebody who doesn't expect it. You'll be surprised how good you'll feel. The Boy Scouts have the right idea. Many's the time I've helped a young lady across the street and over to my place. You should see all my merit badges.
The point is, with a good positive attitude and a little bit of luck, there's no reason you can't live to be 100. Once you've done that you've really got it made, because very few people die over 100.
Source: How to Live to Be 100 - Or More
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