Tag: online dating

Online Dating Advices for Women

Online Dating Advices for Women

Individual security is an important issue that you really should take care of when you are dating online and this is extremely crucial for women online dating. There may possibly be bothering or any other unacceptable habits which will avert you against making use of the online solutions.

If you are a woman and is making use of the chat rooms then a great deal of messages under sexual pretext might invade your chat box. Even genuine individuals might fall a victim to those scams. So the women online dating ought to be done very meticulously if you are searching for an excellent partner.

There are a few trustworthy web sites that give greatest security to ladies. They offer the women features to prohibit the messages and conversations from specific member when they do not like. All ladies should check for these protective actions and will be extremely watchful with the strangers.

They must not offer their phone number or address. Any private date shared online could cause you to be scammed. Only soon after you understand well with regards to a person and believe that he’s authentic and you also need to meet up with him in person you need to offer your telephone number as well as other private details.

Wisdom is extremely important for individuals who are dating online. The women online dating ought to verify the correct face and know if the person is providing the true particulars. In the event the date is living within your physical place that will be simpler for you to identify him out. This is one of this advantages of dating somebody in close proximity. In case you are not certain of any individual do not reveal your personal data to him.

The women online dating if pleased with a particular man or woman may prepare for a meeting at the public spot. It’s better to avoid a private location because you might not have the security and could run the danger of assaults. Normally females are much more susceptible to aggression as compared to guys and so if they identify any kind of frustrating or offensive behavior they need to keep away from them. You need to try for the opportunity to discover the serious minded people.

The women online dating might meddle with the social life of female. In case you imagine that you can not get out there and find the correct man within the real world you may look out for the chances of meeting one online. Web is offering very good possibilities for your sexual predators and and that means you must be extremely careful about your security.

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How we use social media for sex and romance

How we use social media for sex and romance

Social media allows us to meet new people, explore our fantasies, and connect with others who share our desires. It allows us to create sex-positive, supportive communities and learn more about our sexuality. But, it can also give us false hope that the “perfect” person exists, and that if we just search hard enough, we’ll find them out there somewhere.

It’s up to us to use social media to connect with others in positive ways, rather than shut-out potential good-fit partners because they don’t meet a strict criteria. So, how can we use social media, and particularly quick and easy dating apps like Tinder, to enhance our love life rather than tear them apart?

Think About Quick & Easy

In many ways, the digital and technological world is a reflection of our “real life” experience. It is built to meet our growing demands, and many online communities, sites, and dating apps are built off of our fantasies and desires. The technology fills a gap, and gives us what we’re looking for – like a super fast-paced experience that allows you to judge potential partners in a few seconds based on their best picture and possibly a small bio, if you care to read it.

Yes, it’s incredibly fast paced. But, it’s meeting our demand for quick, looks-based connections and mutual matching in the blink of an eye. Think about if that’s the kind of relationship you want. Do you want something primal, physical, hot, and done in a flash? Or do you want something more slow, personality-based, and possibly long-lasting. Or, do you want to fill a particular desire or kink with a niche community? None of these are right or wrong, but pick the app or website that is more in tune with the experience you want to have, rather than thinking you’ll get long-lasting love from a quick-and-easy hookup app.

Choose Your Own Adventure

Social media’s impact on our dating and sex lives is as good or as bad as we, as individuals, allow it to be.

As a good thing, social media allows us to have a much wider variety of romantic and sexual options than before. It allows us to connect with people with similar interests and desires, and learn about and explore new kinks and fantasies. You can even find communities of people with your same fantasies, allowing you to find well-matched partners that are as excited about your kink as you.

On the flip side, social media can also make us more picky about our partners. If you get caught up looking for someone better, hotter, smarter, or who’s interests perfectly match yours… you might be endlessly seeking for someone who just doesn’t exist. Dating sites often suggest that you can find someone truly perfect, but we have to remember that “perfect” in itself is a fantasy. Your perfect match will never be perfect at everything, and often, the persona you meet online is a very polished version of their real-life identity.

Should we go back to meeting people at bars?

Social media and hook up apps are the modern-day solution to classified ads, dating videos, and meeting people at random. Those options have become outdated to a younger, more modern consumer who would rather browse for their partner from the convenience of their smartphone while bored at work or riding home on the subway. Current technology has an advantage, because you can message one another heavily in advance. From behind your phone or computer, you can safely get to know them closely, to feel them out and see if they’re a good fit before ever meeting in person.

In many ways, social media also beats out meeting people at a bar. At a bar, you have no idea who’s single, who’s taken, who’s interested in talking with you, or who has the same interests as you. On an online dating site, you all know you’re there for about the same reason – to meet other people, whether it’s for love, sex, or casual dating. Then, you can filter out who’s the right fit for you physically, intellectually, and based on your interests. Narrowing your focus allows you to get better matches faster, rather than maybe 1 out of 10 people being single and interested at the bar, and even less than that having the same interests as you.

Be Open to Fall in Love

It is absolutely possible to have meaningful, fulfilling, healthy relationships with people you meet online. There’s no reason to think that meeting online hinders the connection you can build in the future. Meeting online is an open door to meet new people and potentially make awesome connections.

It’s then up to the people involved to build on those connections and forge a relationship. There’s nothing wrong with people who go online to meet other people. It doesn’t mean they’re socially awkward or can’t figure out how to interact in person. Often, it’s people who are new to a city, find the bar-scene limiting, or just haven’t found the right person.

Ultimately, dating online, through apps, or social media allows us to get to know people on a deeper level and fine-tune our process of finding the right match, but it’s only as good as we allow it to be. We can choose to use it to create sex-positive, supportive communities – or, we can use to to keep searching for “perfect” person that doesn’t exist, or the guy that’s hot but wants just a one night stand. It’s in our control to use social media in positive ways, whether it’s to find love, casual fun, or sex.

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7 tips for staying safe while online dating

7 tips for staying safe while online dating

Navigating online dating can be a bit of a minefield, and with people joining sites in their thousands unchecked staying savvy is a must. If you’re new to online dating or just want to up your online dating safety game – here are the 8 online dating safety tips everyone should know.

Know who you’re talking to

Whether it’s an app you’re on or a dating site, be aware of the amount of information on offer from the people you are chatting to.

Sure, people knock off a few years here or there and might use a picture that’s six months out of date, but, if someone has minimal information about themselves or one grainy picture be aware that they might not be who they say they are.

Leave a paper trail

As tempting as it may be to rush into the first date before really getting to know each other online, gathering some basic information about your date is important.

Even if it is just a telephone number and an email address – make sure you have contact details about your date beyond their online user name.

Check them out online

The advantage of everyone living their lives online now is that you’ll be able to verify a person’s identity before you meet them by looking them up on social media.

There’s no need to get their inside leg measurement and mother’s maiden name but, checking they are a “real person” before a date will give you piece of mind before you meet.

If in doubt, delete them

If in any doubt about a person you meet online, stay safe and move on. As quick as it is to meet a person online it is to delete them.

You are under no obligation to meet someone, regardless of how long you’ve been chatting to them, and, if you feel under any sort of pressure to do so, it’s time to move on.

Opt for a neutral meeting place

When meeting someone for the first time (read: second, third and fourth) arrange your date in a neutral place – and never accept a dinner invite at a person’s house.

The same goes for being picked up in their car from your house. No one needs to know your home address within twenty-four hours of knowing you.

Morning dates

Dates are traditionally something which happen after dark, however, with the increased number of people online dating and meeting via apps, and the increased frequency of dates, it’s not unusual to suggest a ‘day date’ – meeting for brunch, for example, or grabbing a bite to eat on a lunch break. This presents you with an excuse for a getaway.

Spread to the word

Tell a friend (or five) about your date. Give them a little insight before you meet them too, by letting them know who you’re meeting and where you are planning to go – and don’t feel awkward about nipping to the loo on the date to give them a quick text updating them of your whereabouts.

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Is online dating a romantic playing field for women?

Is online dating a romantic playing field for women?

Online dating isn’t the future of romance, it’s the present. According to new Pew findings, one-in-ten Americans and nearly 40% of singles on the romantic hunt have used an online dating site or app. It seems to be working: nearly a quarter of online daters have met a long-term partner or spouse through the sites.

While many folks still hold a low opinion of internet daters, the cultural tides are turning, and romances kindled online are increasingly mainstream. There are, of course, downsides to meeting people online, just as there are to meeting people in any other venue. But for better or worse, internet dating is revolutionizing how we find partners – and it’s making the dating process an increasingly gender-equal and progressive one.

Old rules of dating put men in charge. Men did the asking, the planning of the date, the paying, and the asking-out-again. Women waited, made ourselves presentable, and hoped flirtations with the object of our interest would lead to an ask-out. There have always been a small handful of women who would pursue men directly, but traditionally, dating has been led by the male of the species.

And women, not wanting to appear rude, have for decades accepted invitations for dates we simply were not interested in going on. It’s a well-documented social phenomenon that women are expected to be nice and accommodating, especially to men, including the ones who ask us out. It puts women in an awkward situation, it makes men feel resentful and it wastes everyone’s time.

Is online dating a romantic playing field for women?

Online dating upends that to various degrees. It’s just as acceptable in an online space for a woman to message a man she thinks is cute as it is for a man to reach out to a woman. Most sites also have a variety of functions to show your interest if you’re not quite ready to send a full message. You can “favorite” a person’s profile, for example, letting them see that you’re interested and encouraging them to go from there.

You can also reject someone politely and efficiently with no (or at least few) hard feelings. While there are folks who get bent of out shape when their message goes unanswered – newsflash: there are crazy people on the internet – most online daters recognize that every message is a shot in the dark, and no one is obligated to respond unless they’re similarly interested. For a lot of women, the ability to avoid unwanted dates without risking offense or breaking social norms is an incredible relief. And men benefit too, by going into a date with relative certainty that the person he’s going out with at least finds him attractive on “paper” and in pictures.

Online dating also cuts through some of the unnecessary confusion in “normal” dating. Critics argue that finding a mate online removes serendipity and organic connection. That’s true, sort of – you do need to interact with someone in person to really evaluate a connection or a physical attraction. But you don’t need to meet someone in the subway or at a bar to discern a connection.

Initial offline meetings come with their own set of perils: meet someone through a friend and you’re more likely to think they’re a good person who shares your general interests and perspectives, which simply might not be true at all. It’s easy to disrupt your social group if you go out with someone a few times and then one of you loses interest while the other feels a connection.

More troubling is connecting, dating and developing real feelings before realizing you aren’t fundamentally compatible based on factors that would have been deal-breakers if you read about your partner on paper – maybe common ones like religion, politics and life goals, or specific interests like needing someone who will tolerate your playing video games for eight hours a day.

By contrast, being clear in your own dating profile can filter out fundamentally incompatible mates. Are you, say, a liberal feminist Brooklynite who would never have sex with a Republican, considers dating someone in Queens a long-distance relationship and has actual nightmares about waking up in a suburban house with a Range Rover in the driveway? That can all be specified.

Up-front disclosure helps to find someone who fits your needs, whether you want to date someone who shares your religious values, or if you have a particular fetish that you may not want to mention on a first date but that you won’t be satisfied without. Perhaps most crucially, a dating website opens up a new universe of people to meet – far more than you’ll see out at the bar down the street.

Meeting dates online, just like meeting them off, comes with negatives. The most obvious is that people lie in ways large and small. My online dating profile says I’m 5’3″ when I’m actually five-two-and-a-half, indicates I’d date anyone in the New York region when, in fact, wild horses couldn’t drag me to Staten Island and fails to disclose that in terms of hours watched, Say Yes To The Dress might qualify as one of my favorite shows.

There is also the lack of agreed-upon rules and social conventions. After how many dates with someone do you both take down your profiles? How much information is too much? It took a week for that guy to message me back – is it because I’m a hideous beast, or is he just busy? With the seemingly endless supply of internet singles and without the accountability of overlapping social groups, it’s easy for a post-date week to consist of one party going on half a dozen new dates while the other sits home waiting for a call to be returned.

And for each person who seems great, there’s a sea of other possibilities just a click away. You may get along with the person in front of you, but maybe there’s someone else out there who shares your dedication to Crossfit or your penchant for Italian cinema, or who’s just a little bit taller, or has a more interesting job. It can be overwhelming, and too tempting to resist.

What’s most heartening about the Pew poll, though, is the recognition that the internet plays a crucial role in our “real” lives, and there isn’t such a clear dividing line between how we live digitally and how we live in the world. We do our activism online, signing petitions and emailing our politicians.

We do our learning online, having access to many more opinion and news pieces than we did in the pre-digital age, and even taking college courses. We’re even able to interact directly with writers, thought leaders and fellow interested citizens on platforms like Twitter and Tumblr just as we can remain connected to our family and friends near and far, seeing their pictures and updates on Facebook. We can keep in regular contact with our closest confidants, g-chatting throughout the work day or texting to make plans.

It makes sense that dating is part of that new world too. We can start romances through dating sites, get laid with apps like Grindr or Tinder, and flirt with our romantic interests or our long-time loves by sending racy Snapchats, or sexy texts. Or we can at least attempt to make our exes jealous by posting enviable Instagrams.

Is there something lost in this new world of dating? Of course. Is it often terrifying to tread new territory without the clear romantic rules our grandmothers knew? Yes. Is this universe with its dizzying array of options and increasingly equal playing field far better than the old model, even with the attendant fear of choosing the wrong thing? You bet.

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Why is online dating so hard for men?

Why is online dating so hard for men?

Jonathan asks: “I’ve been trying to meet women online for the past few months with zero luck, and my friends have said similar things. Contact a girl, and you’re lucky if you get a response, much less a nice one. I don’t get it. I thought online dating was supposed to save me time. Why is this so hard?”

I wish this were an easy answer Jonathan, because your question rings true for many of the men I’ve worked with in the past few years, as well as friends and even dates who have asked me a similar question. In my opinion, the answer is a complex one, and I’m unsure if explaining it in great detail it’ll make a difference with what you’re really after: meeting more women, or perhaps just meeting The Woman of Your Dreams. With that in mind, I’ll only go into the why’s briefly, and try to spend more time on the how’s (what you can do to increase your responses).

Things To Consider When Dating Online

Few people realize that most dating sites keep all users listed indefinitely, and some refuse to purge their database of old members, even if said former members have found love and deactivated their account.

While you can read the Dating Site Fine Print of any individual company you sign up with to find out, I’d just assume the site you’re with does this. As well, most of the up-and-coming and/or popular dating sites will either pay folks to chat with members, fluff the numbers a bit with fake profiles, or both. I’ve come across numbers as high as 30% where the people listed, for whatever reason, weren’t actually available to meet – so this is a factor to take into account.

Next up, women get a lot of messages, depending on their age and demographic. When I sign up at a dating site to review it, I often get hundreds of messages in the first few days. I should note I’m a bit older than the average, highly-desirable range for ladies of 29-35, so younger women may get even more. My advice with this point? Avoid the newest signups because they’re likely inundated with messages anyway, and if you can, see if anyone over 35 appeals to you in your searches – heterosexual women between 35-45 get fewer messages than any other age range according to OkCupid.

When there’s a lot of competition for a woman’s attention, they have to filter whom they want to respond to right off the bat. What many women do (including myself) is look at a person’s profile before they read the message. As an example, if I’m using OkCupid, I first look at the pictures (do I find this person physically attractive at all?), then their basic demographic information (kids? age? location? religion?) and then any of the questions we’ve both answered that we strongly disagree on. (For more on this topic, take a peek at Hacking OkCupid To Your Advantage). If anything on there is a strong no for me, I might still read their email (if it’s more than a, “Hey! You’re cute,”) although I’m more likely to either delete (if I have a lot of messages waiting), or politely say we’re after different things and wish them the very best in their search.

What Does This All Mean For You?

Well, you need a fantastic profile that really showcases your strengths, attractiveness and wants in a partnership or relationship (be it casual or long term – the process is the same). Your pictures are a whole conversation in and of itself, so all I say here is: make sure they’re very recent (last 3-6 months), they showcase your face as well as you doing something that you love, and that they show you off at your happiest. (For more help, try 4 Reasons Why Your Online Dating Profile Isn’t Working, and Why You’re Not Getting Responses). The words you use – depending on the site you’re on – will also help tremendously with the results you get. See How To Write a Dating Profile for comprehensive help, or ask me for Free Dating Profile Help.

Some other suggestions? Know what you want your final outcome from online dating to feel like before you start anything, make sure you’re 100% accurate and honest with everything you share and do, and make a point when you do email a woman of commenting (respectfully) on whatever drew you to message her in a bit of detail.

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