Tag: arielle kebbel
It is often said that the brain is the most important erogenous zone. It’s often said, too, that there’s nothing sexier than a sense of humour. I’m not sure whether either of these assertions has been scientifically proven but, if they have, it could explain why Fifty Shades Freed is about as arousing as staring at a mildewed patch of wallpaper.
This is the third film to be adapted from EL James’ trilogy of zillion-selling “mommy porn” S&M bonkbusters, and its protagonists are two attractive young lovers who can’t keep their hands off each other, so it should be a turn-on, if nothing else. And yet Fifty Shades Freed is so unarousing that it could be used as therapy in a sex addiction clinic. The complete lack of intelligence and fun has got to be a factor.
The film opens with Ana Steele (Dakota Johnson) getting married to Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan), Seattle’s most eligible bachelor. Their high-society wedding is dispensed with in a montage. Then their luxury honeymoon in France is dispensed with in a montage. And then, well, everything else drifts by with so little structure or intrigue that it might as well be a montage, too. Ana and her friends buy dresses; Christian buys a house. Ana drives a car; Christian drives a jet ski.
On and on this product placement-heavy conspicuous consumption goes, but there’s hardly any personality to it, and even less plot. Would it be cruel at this stage to mention that the screenwriter, Niall Leonard, also happens to be James’ own husband? Maybe. But, to be fair, his scripting is no more perfunctory than James Foley’s directing. Between them, they seem to have been aiming for the will-sapping vapidity of a Kardashian reality TV show overseen by Tommy “The Room” Wiseau.
Still, Fifty Shades Freed isn’t wholly without incident. Every now and then, Ana goes to her office in a publishing firm, thus establishing that she is the only senior fiction editor in America who doesn’t have a single manuscript or proof copy at home. And every now and then she and Christian bicker about having children – the kind of work-life disagreement which would barely fill the Charlotte storyline in an episode of Sex and the City.
And sometimes – oh so rarely – the film-makers remember that Ana is being stalked by her cartoonishly psychotic former boss, Jack Hyde (Eric Johnson), at which point the stupidity ramps up, but not the excitement. Hyde’s hazily motivated attacks on Ana are quashed with laughable ease: Christian’s collection of riding crops would be more likely to do her an injury. But it’s still impossible to understand why Jack is treated so nonchalantly by the authorities. Halfway through the film, he tries to abduct Ana from the Greys’ swanky flat.
After her bodyguards have dealt with him – which they do, without breaking a sweat – a police detective reassures her: “Don’t worry about Hyde, we’ve got enough to hold him.” And, somehow, he says it with a straight face. Enough to hold him?! The guy’s just broken into the home of Christian Grey – the wealthiest, most influential man in the city! And he’s held a foot-long knife to Christian Grey’s new bride! Of course you’ve got enough to hold him! You’ve probably got enough to send him straight to the electric chair! But apparently not. A few minutes later, Hyde is granted bail and walks free – and nobody tells Christian. That’s how head-slappingly idiotic Fifty Shades Freed is.
You could argue that none of this vacuousness matters, and that the film exists for its sex scenes. But these tend to be brief, discreet, waist-up interludes. Christian, it seems, is growing out of the whips and chains which obsessed him when the series began. He may be obnoxiously controlling in regards to every other aspect of Ana’s life, but he can’t be bothered with bondage. At their most daring, the newlyweds have sex in a car (a parked car, mind you – safety first), and they have sex on a kitchen table in their Aspen holiday home, during which Christian frets that they might wake up their fellow guests.
And while these tame couplings could, in theory, have been titillating, the film’s pervasive joylessness acts as a cold shower. The ever-frowning Dornan has to take the blame. As usual, Johnson brings some much-needed flirtiness and recognisable human emotion to Ana, but Dornan always sounds as if he’s got a blocked nose, and always looks as if he would rather be at tomorrow’s board meeting. In one scene, Christian is so grumpy with Ana that he gives her a “not-tonight-I’ve-got-a-headache” brush-off, and that’s the only moment when Dornan’s performance has any conviction.
As feeble as it is in almost every respect, Fifty Shades Freed might perhaps have been watchable if Christian had been played by Bridget Jones-era Hugh Grant or by Wall Street-era Michael Douglas – or, for that matter, by any actor with confidence and swagger and a devilish twinkle. Instead, we’re stuck with a leading man who seems to be having a miserable time. Everyone in the audience will have a miserable time, too.
Arielle Kebbel Was a contestant in the 2002 Miss Florida Teen USA Beauty Pageant.
Ranked #95 in Maxim magazine Hot 100 of 2005 list.
Graduated from high school one semester early with a 4.3 GPA.
She actually booked her first job of ‘Lindsey Lister’ on “Gilmore Girls” within the first week of moving to Los Angeles.
Works closely with the charitable organization “ReachBack LA”.
Was the December 2006 entry in Stuff magazine’s 2006-2007 pin up calendar.
Attended the Maile School in Winter Park, Florida. Other graduates include: Phil Moore, Shannon McGinnis, Zed Zevi, and Mandy Moore.
Ranked #54 in Croatian FHM magazine “100 sexiest woman in 2008” list.
Lived across the hall from David Blue in a Hollywood apartment complex from 2004-2005.
Ranked #48 in Maxim magazine Hot 100 of 2009 list.
Born: Arielle Caroline Kebbel
Date of Birth: 19 February 1985
Birth Place: Winter Park, Florida, USA
Height: 5′ 8″ (1,73 m)
Arielle Caroline Kebbel (born February 19, 1985) first made waves when she booked a recurring role on the beloved WB hit “Gilmore Girls,” playing the girlfriend-turned-wife of resident hunk Jared Padalecki. She later starred in “John Tucker Must Die” and “Aquamarine,” both for Fox, then in Sony’s “The Grudge 2.” Other projects include a lead role in Universal’s “American Pie Presents Band Camp” and a celebrity cameo in “The Kid and I.” Upcoming films for Kebbel are “Red Mist” and “Mardi Gras.”
Kebbel is also a regular in indie films, with lead roles in “Day Dreamer” for director Brahman Turner, as well as “The Outlaw Trail” and “Forever Strong” for director Ryan Little. She also made a return to the small screen to guest-star opposite James Woods and Sarah Carter on the hit CBS series “Shark.”
On television, Kebbel also had a recurring role on the WB’s “Grounded for Life,” and has done guest-star turns on many popular television shows, including “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation,” “CSI: Miami,” “Entourage” and “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.”
Within the first week of moving to Los Angeles, California Arielle successfully auditioned for her first major role portraying Lindsay Lister on The CW’s Gilmore Girls. She went on to become a major recurring role throughout the third, fourth and fifth season. Arielle has since appeared in television shows such as Entourage, Grounded for Life, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and The Vampire Diaries. She has been cast in two pilots Football Wives and No Heroics both developed for ABC which have not been picked up.
In 2004, Arielle made her film debut portraying a major supporting role alongside Kevin Hart, Tom Arnold and Snoop Dogg in the hip-hop comedy film Soul Plane. She has also had numerous notable roles in films such as Be Cool, The Kid & I, American Pie Presents: Band Camp and Reeker.
In 2005, Arielle was announced to portray the role of Carrie Schaeffer alongside Sophia Bush, Brittany Snow and Jesse Metcalfe in 20th Century Fox’s John Tucker Must Die. Filming took place in Port Moody, British Columbia, Canada during the summer of 2005. The film received negative reviews from critics and made a profit at the box office earning worldwide $68,821,702.
In 2005, Arielle signed on for 20th Century Fox film titled Aquamarine starring Sara Paxton and Emma Roberts and Joanna(JoJo) Levesque. Arielle portrays the role of the film’s villain, Cecilia Banks. Film was released in March 2006, and had little box office success with earnings of $23 million worldwide.
In February 2006, Arielle was confirmed to be starring alongside Sarah Michelle Gellar and Teresa Palmer in The Grudge 2. The film is a sequel to the 2004 Horror film, The Grudge which was a remake of the original Japanese film. Arielle described her role of schoolgirl Allison Flemming as “The girl you see in the background of all the pictures that wants to be a part of everything but never really is”. Filming took place in Tokyo, Japan in April that same year. The film was released on October 13, 2006. The film managed to be a box office success earning over $70 million worldwide.
In 2006 Arielle was announced to star in the Indie Sports/Drama film Forever Strong alongside Penn Badgley, Sean Faris and Neal McDonough. Filming took place in August 2006 in Salt Lake City. This is both Penn and Arielle’s second film together, having appeared alongside each other in John Tucker Must Die. The film suffered in development hell and received numerous pushbacks. The film was released on September 26, 2008 Straight-to-DVD. Critical reception was generally negative.
In February 2008, Arielle was announced to star as the central character Katherine in the Indie Horror Freakdog alongside Sarah Carter. The film received a limited cinema release on August 22, 2008 and was quickly released to DVD in February, 2009. Critical reception was universally negative. However, Darrell Moen’s review described Kebbel’s performance in the film as “Brilliant” and the film being a “Star-Vehicle” for her.
In March 2008 Paramount Pictures announced Arielle was portraying the role of Alex Ivers in the American Remake of the 2003 South Korean Horror film A Tale of Two Sisters. Emily Browning and Elizabeth Banks were confirmed to be co-starring. Filming took place in late 2008 in Vancouver, British Columbia. Despite performances of the cast being well received, critical reception was mixed to negative. The film managed to have a mixed response from the box office and earned $40 million worldwide.
In 2008 Screen Gems announced Arielle was to be starring alongside Danneel Harris, Carmen Electra and Regina Hall in the Comedy Mardi Gras. Filming took place in New Orleans in late 2008. The film has suffered numerous pushbacks with no official release being announced as of July 10, 2010.