Love Affair with a Married Man

Love Affair with a Married Man

Are you considering having a love affair with a married man? Before you do something you may regret, consider the pros and cons of having an affair. Regardless of your feelings about affairs, the fact is there are some benefits to cheating.

Sex

The most common reason people have an affair is for sex. Sometimes the affair is only about sex, while other times an emotional cheating relationship becomes physical. The married man may fulfill you in ways other men have not. He may also be more adventurous than your spouse or other men you have dated. Whatever the situation is, you are likely to have some great sex with a married man, even if most of the excitement comes from the possibility of being caught.

Excitement

One of the most exciting times in a relationship is at the beginning. Getting to know someone new and trying new activities together is a lot of fun. A long-term relationship may feel boring and stale in comparison. Even if you or your married lover has no plans of getting a divorce, the excitement of a new relationship may prove too hard to resist.

Love Affair with a Married Man

Emotional Fulfillment

Sometimes what causes a married man to have an affair is a need for emotional fulfillment. He may have grown apart from his wife over the years and wants to find someone whom understands him. If he also understands you as well, the satisfaction this brings will often be more fulfilling than sex.

Avoid Divorce

Some people think divorce is worse than having an affair. If you agree with that statement, then an affair could be seen as a way of saving a marriage.

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h3>What About The Downsides?

While there are several positive elements of having a love affair with a married man, the downsides are many and potentially devastating.

Getting Caught

The married man is putting his marriage at risk having an affair with you, and you risk the same if you are also married. You may not care about being caught, but your feelings may change if your spouse finds out and files for divorce. Sometimes we don’t realize what we have until we lose it.

Being caught involves more risks than just divorce. It can also ruin your career or your reputation. Even if you are single, you’ll still be labeled as ” the other woman” which can carry as much if not more negative stigmatism as the adulterous husband. You could lose friends and family support and your reputation in the city could be ruined as well.

He May Not Leave His Wife

Sometimes the hope of having a love affair is that he will leave his wife and marry you. This does happen in some cases. However, the majority of the time, the married man only wants to have an affair. Even if he says he loves you and plans to leave his wife, nothing is certain as long as he is still married.

Fantasy is Not Reality

Affairs often have a fantasy feel about them. The problem comes when you expect the fantasy to continue. Even if he does leave his wife and marries you, eventually the day-to-day realities of being married will replace the fantasy. In other words, getting what you want may turn out bad if what you really loved was the fantasy. In addition, in this scenario, your relationship will have been born out of cheating. Now that you are his wife, what’s to say he won’t start cheating on you?

Not Ultimately Fulfilling

If you are single and having a relationship with a married man, it will not be as fulfilling as dating a single guy. The relationship has to be secret, you can’t have your parents meet him and he will be in the arms and bed of another woman. Is that the kind of relationship you want?

Conclusion

Before you have an affair with a married man, carefully consider the good and bad elements. What may start as exciting might in the end cost you more than you were prepared to lose.

Identifying Signs of Infidelity

Identifying Signs of Infidelity

Signs of infidelity are numerous and while men and women typically handle deception in different ways, they share many of the same suspicious behavior or activities when engaged in unfaithful activities. So what should you look for if you are worried that your partner is being unfaithful?

The more obvious signs include:

— A pattern of frequent absences from home for a myriad of reasons: shopping, business trips, working late, trips to places where the partner is “out of reach”

— Unexplained bills, high phone bills or secret credit cards

— Secrecy – hiding phone calls, hiding computer usage, hiding money, deleting texts and phone call histories quickly

— Partner comes home in different clothing than they went out
Partner comes home smelling of another man or woman’s cologne or perfume

— Partner tells ridiculous or tall tales as a way to explain absences or overspending

— Your partner is diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease

— Sex life – it’s not the frequency or quality you should watch out for, but the actions. Has your partner learned new moves lately? They may have come from sleeping with someone else, though that isn’t always the case. Don’t discount a sudden increase or decrease in sex, but interest may decrease long before an affair starts.

— Less emotional intimacy – If your partner used to talk a lot and suddenly the talking dies down, the talking could be still going on–with someone else.

— Sudden interest in exercising or tanning

— Not wearing a wedding ring

— Being at home less

— Spends more time on appearance than usual

— Immediately showers after getting home

— Someone tells you they saw your partner out with someone else

Covering up a choice

More often than not, when you are lying about something, you will say too much by way of covering up a choice. For example, the cheater may go on a vacation or business trip alone, but his / her meal expense at a restaurant is more than any one-person can eat.

So the person tells the story of knocking a server and spilling a tray of food, then continues to elaborate saying he / she spilled the food of a family of four, so the partner paid their food bill by way of apology. Yet the food bill is not enough to cover food for four plus his or her meal as well.

This is the danger of lying. If a story sounds suspicious or unusual or with far too many slapstick details, it is a warning sign that they are covering up behavior or interaction they don’t want you to know about.

How we use social media for sex and romance

How we use social media for sex and romance

Social media allows us to meet new people, explore our fantasies, and connect with others who share our desires. It allows us to create sex-positive, supportive communities and learn more about our sexuality. But, it can also give us false hope that the “perfect” person exists, and that if we just search hard enough, we’ll find them out there somewhere.

It’s up to us to use social media to connect with others in positive ways, rather than shut-out potential good-fit partners because they don’t meet a strict criteria. So, how can we use social media, and particularly quick and easy dating apps like Tinder, to enhance our love life rather than tear them apart?

Think About Quick & Easy

In many ways, the digital and technological world is a reflection of our “real life” experience. It is built to meet our growing demands, and many online communities, sites, and dating apps are built off of our fantasies and desires. The technology fills a gap, and gives us what we’re looking for – like a super fast-paced experience that allows you to judge potential partners in a few seconds based on their best picture and possibly a small bio, if you care to read it.

Yes, it’s incredibly fast paced. But, it’s meeting our demand for quick, looks-based connections and mutual matching in the blink of an eye. Think about if that’s the kind of relationship you want. Do you want something primal, physical, hot, and done in a flash? Or do you want something more slow, personality-based, and possibly long-lasting. Or, do you want to fill a particular desire or kink with a niche community? None of these are right or wrong, but pick the app or website that is more in tune with the experience you want to have, rather than thinking you’ll get long-lasting love from a quick-and-easy hookup app.

Choose Your Own Adventure

Social media’s impact on our dating and sex lives is as good or as bad as we, as individuals, allow it to be.

As a good thing, social media allows us to have a much wider variety of romantic and sexual options than before. It allows us to connect with people with similar interests and desires, and learn about and explore new kinks and fantasies. You can even find communities of people with your same fantasies, allowing you to find well-matched partners that are as excited about your kink as you.

On the flip side, social media can also make us more picky about our partners. If you get caught up looking for someone better, hotter, smarter, or who’s interests perfectly match yours… you might be endlessly seeking for someone who just doesn’t exist. Dating sites often suggest that you can find someone truly perfect, but we have to remember that “perfect” in itself is a fantasy. Your perfect match will never be perfect at everything, and often, the persona you meet online is a very polished version of their real-life identity.

Should we go back to meeting people at bars?

Social media and hook up apps are the modern-day solution to classified ads, dating videos, and meeting people at random. Those options have become outdated to a younger, more modern consumer who would rather browse for their partner from the convenience of their smartphone while bored at work or riding home on the subway. Current technology has an advantage, because you can message one another heavily in advance. From behind your phone or computer, you can safely get to know them closely, to feel them out and see if they’re a good fit before ever meeting in person.

In many ways, social media also beats out meeting people at a bar. At a bar, you have no idea who’s single, who’s taken, who’s interested in talking with you, or who has the same interests as you. On an online dating site, you all know you’re there for about the same reason – to meet other people, whether it’s for love, sex, or casual dating. Then, you can filter out who’s the right fit for you physically, intellectually, and based on your interests. Narrowing your focus allows you to get better matches faster, rather than maybe 1 out of 10 people being single and interested at the bar, and even less than that having the same interests as you.

Be Open to Fall in Love

It is absolutely possible to have meaningful, fulfilling, healthy relationships with people you meet online. There’s no reason to think that meeting online hinders the connection you can build in the future. Meeting online is an open door to meet new people and potentially make awesome connections.

It’s then up to the people involved to build on those connections and forge a relationship. There’s nothing wrong with people who go online to meet other people. It doesn’t mean they’re socially awkward or can’t figure out how to interact in person. Often, it’s people who are new to a city, find the bar-scene limiting, or just haven’t found the right person.

Ultimately, dating online, through apps, or social media allows us to get to know people on a deeper level and fine-tune our process of finding the right match, but it’s only as good as we allow it to be. We can choose to use it to create sex-positive, supportive communities – or, we can use to to keep searching for “perfect” person that doesn’t exist, or the guy that’s hot but wants just a one night stand. It’s in our control to use social media in positive ways, whether it’s to find love, casual fun, or sex.

The passion has gone out of my marriage

The passion has gone out of my marriage

A woman finds that she and her husband now disagree over just about everything except Friday night curries. Mariella Frostrup says that where there’s squabbling, there’s hope.

The dilemma My husband and I have been together for 20 years. I still love him – as in I wouldn’t like any harm to come to him – but the passion has been no more than sporadic for a long time. We argue about almost everything, especially politics. At the moment he is all for Brexit while I’m more on the fence and suspect sticking with Europe is the way forward.

It’s not the only area where we’re opposites. I enjoy my book club, he enjoys fishing, I love a beach holiday, he likes a lot of activity, the only thing we seem to agree on is how much we love our two uni-bound kids and food, we both love a Friday-night curry. So now the children are only part-time residents, should I follow suit and get a new life for myself?

Mariella replies Whoa there, missus! You say there’s no passion left between you, but aren’t you forgetting that to rustle up an enthusiastic argument you need to care? The apathy of the soon-to-be-divorced is a far more terrifying sight; hanging out with couples in their dying days it’s all “Yes dear, no dear, pass me the butter dear.” It’s spooky enough to make a spectator commit to celibacy for life. As far as I’m concerned if there’s battle left in you there’s also the spark of a relationship.

I bumped into a friend at a party the other night, positively glowing and brandishing her ex-husband on her arm as her date. She’s not alone in reaching the conclusion, a decade after she divorced, that her husband’s shortcomings were also available in a variety of other suitors from the four corners of the globe, but not his kindness and parenting skills.

Coming from a divorced family and having experienced the misery it causes children I’ve long been an advocate of sticking together where you can. At times it feels like the hardest road to follow, when passion has dulled and the mere presence of your partner makes a crime of passion appear a pleasant diversion. But as you get older you realise that life whizzes by at a pace, friendships come and go and an enduring union with someone who knows you warts and all is a welcome buffer in a cruel world.

Ironically there are plenty of parallels between your domestic dilemma and the Euro debate taking place across the country, that finds you on opposing sides. In a climate where facts are thin on the ground and opinions epidemic, most voters will be making their choice with hearts rather than heads, making it my natural territory. As with any impending break-up it is difficult, as the rhetoric from both parties escalates, to sort the truth from the fiction. Sticking with the devil you know may not be the most compelling reason to remain in a marriage or as a member state, but finding a way to coexist is a vital ingredient for contentment at any level of existence.

I’ll admit I’m a natural European, born in Norway, brought up in an Ireland entirely revitalised by EC funding and then emigrating to the UK in my teens. It seems to me that the founding principles of an integrated Europe, where we’d never again endure the terrible losses experienced in two great wars, are reason enough to try to work out our differences. In a globalised world the idea of returning to being one lonely little island, neighbouring a cluster of countries committed to each other’s mutual support, seems a regressive step.

Without banging the point home too emphatically I’d say the same could be said for your marriage. Instead of heading for the door what about trying to disrupt the status quo? You claim opposing interests, but I’d describe them simply as individual pursuits that only become a point of contention if you try to force them on each other. Instead, welcome your development as individuals as a bonus to your life together, take holidays alone or with friends when you can’t find mutually acceptable locations, indulge your hobbies and when you meet in the bedroom you may find your passion revitalised.

Like all relationships there will be much that could be improved on and new issues to resolve, but if individuals, like my pal and her husband, can turn from enmity to intimacy, and couples like you from apathy to enthusiastic re-engagement, then surely our politicians, charged with behaving maturely and intelligently for the greater good, should be encouraged to do likewise. I don’t want to burden you with onerous responsibility but if you and your husband can find a way of communicating more constructively there’s hope for Europe, too.

As Gandhi once said, we must “be the change we want to see” and the qualities that will improve your relationship – including compromise, commitment and empathy – offer enhancements to wellbeing not just behind closed doors but out in the real world, too.

How to Keep the Passion Alive

How to Keep the Passion Alive

You’ve found your soul mate. Now you live happily ever after. Well, maybe, but not if you do not put some energy into your relationship. Many couples assume that it is perfectly natural to eventually become one of those couples who remains in a pizza, and the question of the most exciting night to watch that movie on cable. Is that your relationship?

Although the company is a great sign of a healthy relationship, many couples can fall into the trap of becoming too complacent. There may be a fine line between a good relationship and a relationship boring. You find yourself sitting in bed working on your laptop or watching reruns on TV, or are you still swinging from chandeliers?

Although not all will be performing both aerobics room forever, passion and romance are important in all stages of a healthy relationship. Feel comfortable and at ease with your soul mate is a fantastic feeling. However, couples must now be extremely cautious when they reach that comfort zone they do not stop trying.

Remember all those sweet romantic things you did to them in the beginning? Why stop? They made you feel good about them, as they felt good for your partner to receive them. Gratitude and appreciation are two extremely important factors in a happy society. You are grateful when this fantastic person came into your life. You’ve enjoyed their great qualities. Six months or a year on the track this person is always the person that you were so grateful to meet. Keep showing them that.

How to Keep the Passion Alive

Couples who have the time or need for sleep are challenged to take the seed of all these celebrity books. Make time for yourself as a couple. If you must, write in your journal or Blackberry. Give yourself a night all week just for you two. Maybe you just want to go out for a simple meal. Maybe you want a massage for your aching neck.

As time passes, you will be able to lay down some of your special time. Examples of turn off cell phones and computers, or no TV, or candles only. Whatever works for the pair of you. You’ll find that you’ll begin to look forward to your romantic time together. Maybe you can start a mental list of things you’d like to do or where you want to go. Before too long, you’ll wonder how you ever lived without your time as a couple.

You can live happily ever after. We must work to keep alive the passion in a healthy relationship. Do not blow sparks appeasement relationship of love with your soul mate. Each couple must charm, pleasure and passion to maintain a happy and flourishing.

3 Mistakes women make in the bedroom

3 Mistakes women make in the bedroom

Who doesn’t need to spice up their bedroom routine every once in a while? You love your partner and assume he’ll initiate sex, so it’s all good, right? Not so fast! Did you ever think about what YOUR role is… what you could be doing to turn up the heat? We did, so we asked renowned sex expert and family therapist Dr. Jane Greer. She says women COMMONLY make THREE MISTAKES in the bedroom:

Mistake 1: Comfy Clothes

I know, ladies, that you want to be in those those comfortable nightgowns, those comfortable jammies, that you wear. But, honestly, the quickest turn-off to your partner or spouse are your comfy clothes. So, if you want to spice things up in your love life, shed those comfy clothes and find a ice, hot bra or a nice nighty, something you can be slinky, sexy and comfortable in that will be a TURN-ON to your partner.

Mistake 2: NOT Taking the Lead

Don’t wait to get asked to dance, meaning you’ve got to take the lead. You don’t have to wait for your partner to ask you to have sex or make love with them. Get involved, get into bed, take the lead and get your partner into bed with you. You’ll both have a lot of fun and enjoy yourselves.

Mistake 3: Criticism

It’s to be avoided at all costs. Nothing will turn off your partner faster than you telling him what you DON’T like and what you don’t want taking place. On the other hand, what will be a complete arousal and turn-on is letting him know what he CAN do to please you and what will excite you if he does it.

So, tell him what you like, wear those sexy clothes and, most importantly of all, take the lead so that you can have the fun you’re looking for!

6 Foods to Boost Your Sex Drive

6 Foods to Boost Your Sex Drive

Few people feel their sexiest after a night of gluttonous eating. Are you really feeling it after eating a burger, fries and a shake? If you want to increase your sex drive, you should pay careful attention to the foods you eat. It might take a little planning, but these foods will definitely encourage you and your honey to want more sex.

1. Chocolate

Which is better: Men or chocolate? Chocolate contains phenylethylamine, which can stimulate the same hormones that make you feel like you are in love. It is also a food that you can use in sex play–drizzling chocolate over your partner’s naked body and licking it off.

2. Oysters

Oysters contain both zinc and dopamine, which can increase the libido. Additionally, many people simply find the act of eating an oyster erotic. Incorporate oysters into your meal when you want a night of romance. If you are pregnant, however, the Mayo Clinic recommends that you avoid raw oysters.

3. Eggs

Eggs serve a number of purposes when you’re trying to increase your sex drive. Vitamin B5 and vitamin B6 in the eggs reduce stress, which can help put you in the mood. After all, it’s difficult to focus on sex when you’re dealing with so many other things, right moms? Eggs also contain vitamin A, which can support the health of the skin in your vagina.

4. Celery

Celery contains androsterone, the same hormone that men release in their sweat that turns women on. Additionally, celery is high in fiber and low in calories. If you are eating celery, you’re probably not eating as many other snack foods that are high in calories and fat. This could cause you to lose weight, which will increase your libido, both physically and mentally.

5. Soy

Soy foods, such as tofu or edamame, help to bind estrogen, which can keep the vaginal area lubricated. For men, it can help promote prostate health.

6. Fruits

All fruits contain vitamins that can boost your libido. For example, bananas contain the bromelain enzyme, which can reduce impotence in men, and prunes may increase sexual pleasure due to their antioxidants. You may also find that certain types of fruits, such as mangoes, peaches or bananas, are erotically suggestive when you eat them, which can make you more interested in sex.

Little lies you should never tell your husband

Little lies you should never tell your husband

These fibs seem minor, but they signify a deeper sense of insecurity and can hurt a marriage.

“These jeans were only $30!” “No, I don’t care that your feet are on the coffee table.” White lies don’t doom a marriage, right? “We don’t want to upset, annoy or scare our spouse, so it’s easier to lie,” says biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, PhD, Chief Scientific Officer of Chemistry.com and Match.com. But fibbing is a slippery slope. “When you lie continually, you won’t be able to keep your lies straight. Your husband will find out you’re lying, and then there’s no trust.” And a marriage like that isn’t one you want to be in. Here, experts explain common lies women tell, how they can harm the relationship and what you can do instead of stretching the truth. Photo by Thinkstock.

“No, that doesn’t bother me at all.”

The honeymoon phase causes newlyweds to insist things that really bug them don’t-and the annoyance can persist for years. If you’re afraid of rocking the boat, you may hold grievances in until you’re bubbling with anger. “Spouses blow off little things, avoiding having to talk about feelings and resolve issues,” says Goldstein. “But it’s a major issue. I just dealt with this in practice and it ended in divorce.”

A little recurring thing is a big deal. “With Twitter, Facebook and social media, there’s so much room to act out what isn’t getting resolved in marriage, confiding in another person,” says Goldstein. Avoid that and be honest with your spouse. Try: “This may sound silly, but it annoys me when you put your feet on the coffee table. You leave smudges. Could you please use the footstool?” It may take some time (and reminders) to tweak his habit, but he’ll get there-without you holding a grudge against him.

“These new shoes? They were on sale.”

“I bought electronic toothbrushes from my dentist,” says Anna* from Fairfield, CT. “They were $70 a piece and I said they were $50 a piece. I know my husband would’ve said our regular toothbrushes were fine if the price was too high.” Dr. Brosh says lies about purchases stem from the “power differential in the relationship, often modeled by parents growing up. The man controls the money, and the wife thinks she needs permission to purchase something.”

Agree to discuss buys over a certain amount with each other, and feel free to keep mum when the total is under that (knowing that he’ll do the same). If your husband asks about a particular item, tell the truth. Past generations of men may have held the purse strings, but that doesn’t mean your hubby does or wants to; he may just be curious.

“I never talk about our personal life with my friends.”

Some women tell their girlfriends about relationship problems, knowing their guys would be upset if they found out. “It’s important for spouses to feel like their marriage is a secret, sacred space,” says licensed marriage and family therapist Carin Goldstein, creator of Be the Smart Wife. Taking private information to a friend means you’re running from a problem to avoid confrontation.

Venting about your husband’s messy closet is one thing, but don’t take serious issues public. “If you’re constantly asking a friend how to solve a problem in your marriage, then you’re going to the wrong source,” says Goldstein. “You’re stunting your relationship by trying to fix the issue with another person.”

“I had only one glass of wine at dinner.”

Your husband may have told you he doesn’t like how you act when you drink too much. “Maybe you flirt with other men or yell, which makes your husband critical of you,” explains Andra Brosh, PhD. So now you hide how many glasses of wine you’ve had so he’s not on the lookout for bad behavior.

The problem grows when you start layering lies. “You might stop telling your partner where you’re going out or make up stories about why you drank, which erodes trust even more.” Instead of covering up your drinking habits, address your husband’s concerns and work on solutions for valid issues together.

“I’ve never seen Jim outside of work.”

If you think your husband can’t handle your friendship with another man, you may think telling him about your relationship would create tension. “Partners lie about meeting up with friends of the opposite sex because they believe they won’t get caught-and they’d prefer not to open a can of worms,” says Dr. Brosh.

But if you say you don’t see a male friend and then do, innocent interactions can feel like betrayal if your husband finds out. “Tell your spouse you don’t want to jeopardize your marriage for a friendship with your coworker, but you’d like to understand what bothers him about the relationship,” says Dr. Brosh. “Work on what’s triggering the jealousy. When two people feel a sense of safety in the relationship, having an opposite-sex friendship becomes less of an issue.”

“Of course you’re great in bed. I’m totally satisfied.”

Whether it’s singing his praises or faking an orgasm, lying about between-the-sheets fulfillment happens a lot. “Wives don’t want to feel responsible for their husband’s shame,” says Goldstein.

Dealing with dissatisfaction this way actually deepens the issue. “If a need’s not being met, the problem will get bigger,” says Goldstein. So nip it in the bud. “First, ask yourself why you can’t orgasm. Figure out what works for your body, and then say, ‘I love it when you do this. Let’s keep doing that.'” Positive reinforcement encourages your husband to continue doing the things you like in bed, which ultimately satisfies you both. Bonus: You build his confidence and spare his feelings.

“I wasn’t with Katie; I was only with Jennifer and Susan.”

If one of your friends continually butts heads with your husband, you may feel like spending time with her means aligning with her. “So she’ll tell him she went to lunch with someone else,” says Dr. Fisher.

“No one wants to defend her choice of friends,” says Dr. Brosh. “But you may resent your partner for ‘making you lie.'” The solution: Have a conversation with your spouse about Katie’s role in your life. Your husband may better understand the importance of your friendship-and like her a little better too.

“I didn’t forget to go to the bank. I got busy and figured I’d go later.”

You may not realize you tell the tiniest lies, but it probably comes from a sense you have to give a more legitimate excuse than the real reason, like simply spacing out. “Lying about little things is an avoidance of feeling shame,” says Dr. Brosh.

Small fibs signify a deeper issue of insecurity. “If your partner tends to be condescending, lying might be a direct response to that,” explains Dr. Brosh. If you notice a pattern of senseless lies, be upfront with your husband so he can have a broader view of the situation and help you work through it.

The Warmth of Passionate Love

The Warmth of Passionate Love

It is necessary to consider both the warmth of passionate love and its enduring nature. The love of young people, though warm, has no power of endurance. Hence, many young people change from one affection to another. I term this the love of divided personalities. How can any such love bring pleasure?

For love to endure, it is necessary that it be maintained by strength of will. It is not for this reason that I maintain that love must be given a moral quality. If we are masters of single personalities, then at any given period it follows that we can have but one single affection; and this affection must continue as long as the personality lasts. Herein is the uniqueness of love. It is what may be called puremindedness, and the power which maintains this puremindedness is simply one’s strength of will.

Marriage is a social relation achieved by the unificative effort of matured personalities. In marriage love is first accorded its social recognition; upon it is bestowed the great guarantee of social approval. Society is blessed through marriage, and marriage is blessed through society. Since love is essentially social, society desires to recognize marriage. Of course, since society today is in a transition period, many social phenomena are exceedingly confused.

In such a transition period there are numerous instances of people who, awakened ethically to a holy love, are forced to contravene certain restrictions. There are certain forms of marriage which experience extraordinary difficulty in gaining social recognition. But that is only because this is a period of transition. In an ethical society every marriage ought to receive society’s benediction. Love is higher than sexual desire. Essentially, love signifies the creation of personality.

The new creation of personality includes also the potential children of the union. We have heard the saying, “Children are the links which bind parents together,” but only when we actually have children born to us do we realize poignantly that the love of husband and wife is something above sexual desire.

In my own experience, before our children were born I knew well that the love of husband and wife is sacred; yet after the birth of our children I realized this more keenly, and I came to consider that to the fact of the superiority of love over sexual desire must be further added the personalities of the children. I think that the stronger my love for my children becomes, the more I must love the mother of my children. It is no mere question of sexual desire. There is here a truly mysterious design; and as I view the unfolding of the new order, I am amazed at its grandeur. The love revealed through marriage is a triune existence, not a twofold one; it is creation of a new order rooted in love.

There are men who frequently praise their wives extravagantly, love their children, and appear to be satisfied. Yet they become infatuated with some strange woman, and abruptly abandon wife and children. I am unable to understand the feelings of such men. They are utter bankrupts in personality; they have no unity of self. Their love is consequently bankrupt. In cases of the separation of couples who have children, I do not necessarily oppose the divorce; but I maintain that for one to abandon the wife or husband with whom one has been satisfied, whom one has loved, is a disgrace against oneself.

How is it possible for one who disgraces oneself to have a sacred affection? Such a one lies to oneself. Of course, I do not mean to include here those who have been compelled to be parties to a match, or who have been coerced into marriage. Yet even in cases of marriage by coercion, where in the married life love has grown up between the two and a fusion of personalities has been achieved, if on the appearance of a third person one of them pretends that the marriage was not based upon a real romantic love and tears to pieces the love that has developed, disregards the children and deserts the home, then I count that one also to have disgraced himself. In a case where the marriage did not at first depend on love, but love afterward developed, and finally grew cold, I cannot necessarily approve of such a passion. I will say rather that the love was deficient in moral discipline.

Seven reasons why some women cheat

Seven reasons why some women cheat

A nice guy isn’t enough for some women, who need more passion in their lives.

You’ve probably heard that men cheat for physical reasons, women for emotional reasons. Sure, there’s some truth to that, but when we asked real women around the country to share why they strayed from their boyfriends, we learned they had a whole host of explanations — from bad kissing to sheer revenge. Read on for the truth about why women have given in to temptation.

Reason 1: There’s no passion

“I had been with John for about three years — he was a really nice guy, and I enjoyed being with him, but there wasn’t a ton of passion. Most everyone we knew had gotten engaged, and though John would have proposed in a second, whenever he brought it up, I’d change the subject. I took a trip to Australia for work and while I was gone, I got together with a coworker to whom I’d always been insanely attracted. I had a fantastic trip, probably because for the first time in a long time I experienced that excitement I’d been missing. I broke up with John soon after I returned home and began dating the guy from the trip. Even though I’m not super-proud of my actions, things ended up for the best: after dating for a few years, the guy from the trip and I got married and we’re incredibly happy together.”

Reason 2: To delay a breakup

“Right before I was going to break up with my ex, Sean, he found out that he had to put his beloved dog to sleep. He was so broken up about it that I didn’t have the heart to end things, so I waited a month or so until he was in better shape. When things seemed to be better and I was ready, he lost his job, so I felt like I was back to square one! By that time I had met someone else that I really wanted to start seeing, so I went ahead and did it. I eventually ended things, never telling Sean about my extracurricular dating. I think I rationalized that I was trying to spare his feelings.”

Reason #3: Because absence doesn’t make the heart grow fonder

“My boyfriend Greg and I decided to do the long-distance thing after I was accepted to a graduate program 200 miles from where we lived. The first few months were fine, but I soon found myself becoming extremely attracted to my lab partner, Henry. What began as innocent flirting eventually wound up with us getting physical. After the program was over, I returned home to Greg. Being with him was really difficult, but I didn’t break up with him initially because I was still attracted to him, too. I visited Henry a few times and realized that he was really more of a fling, probably done out of boredom, and that Greg was the one for me. I eventually stopped communicating with Henry. I never told Greg about what happened, which occasionally makes me feel guilty, but I chalk my cheating up to being young and silly. He and I are still together, four years after my program ended.”

Reason 4: To avoid being left out in the cold

“I began dating Eric shortly after I had been dumped by Dave, my boyfriend of two years. I was devastated and Eric was definitely a rebound thing. After Eric and I had dated for five months, Dave came back and wanted to give things another shot. I still really missed him, so I began seeing him, but never ended things with Eric. I think I sort of kept Eric around for insurance purposes, just in case things didn’t end up well with Dave. Dave and I didn’t make it on round two, and after Eric discovered through mutual friends that I had been seeing him again, he ended things with me. I definitely learned my lesson about dating two guys at the same time, not to mention trying to rekindle a relationship that’s just plain over.”

Reason 5: To make a break from a bad relationship

“When I was younger, I dated a guy named Ethan who was really critical of me. He constantly made little snide comments about my weight, how stupid I was and how clumsy I was. For whatever odd reason, I was into him, despite the fact that all of my friends and family hated him. One weekend when he was away, I met Will at a party and we completely hit it off. He was the complete opposite of Ethan — kind, sweet and generous, yet completely cool and fun, too. We hung out all weekend and it was like a light bulb went off in my head: This is how mature, relationship-worthy guys act. I kissed Will the night before he left and broke up with Ethan soon after. Will and I dated for three years and now we’re married.”

Reason 6: To find that missing piece

“I’m from Florida, so I adore going to the beach and boating, but my former boyfriend, Chris, a total city boy, hated it. We always argued about where we’d take trips, and he always won. About eight months into our relationship, I took a trip to Key West with my friends and we chartered a boat for the day. The captain of the boat was this totally hot, complete ‘beach guy for life’ type, and I spent the whole day flirting with him. We met him out that night and spent time alone together. I never told Chris about it after I got home and I never felt guilty; I think part of me felt like that’s what Chris got for being so stubborn! Chris and I didn’t make it, and after we broke up, I made sure any future boyfriends loved the beach!”

Reason 7: To give him a taste of his own medicine

“My last boyfriend was a total player before we got together. I thought I could change him but I was wrong. I always heard rumors that he was seeing other girls while we were dating, but he always denied it. One night, I got a call from a girl he had been secretly dating, and she detailed their three-month-long relationship to me and told me about another girl she had discovered he was seeing as well. I was so mad that I went out with my friends that night, dressed to kill, and spent time with the most attractive guy; I felt like it was the least he deserved! I loved seeing the look on his face when I told him about what I did and that I knew about the other girls. And then I dumped him!”