Category: Dating Tips and Advices
There are two main channels of romantic interest for adults. First, there are the people you meet at a bar, at a party, or through an online dating site. In these scenarios, the mutual attraction and interest is often instant: you immediately ask each other out, or hook up, or date, or whatever.
Then there are the times when you meet people and mutual attraction is not assured. Your new co-worker, a friend’s roommate, your roommate’s sister, the guy who works at the coffee shop next door. Do they like you? You have no idea. But what you’re left with is what in high school parlance is referred to as a crush. Because of whatever complications, you don’t feel like you can just ask this person out. But you’ve got it for them, and you’ve got it bad.
As adults, we’re beyond doodling in notepads and feverishly writing diary entries — but we can still get a little weird about our crushes.
I asked a group of female friends to brainstorm how, exactly, they behave towards someone on whom they have a secret crush. Nobody does all of these things at once, but chances are, if you’ve ever had a crush, a couple of these bullet points will sound pretty familiar. (You could call some of these behaviors “creepy.” I prefer the adjectives “diligent” and “enthusiastic.”)
“Life would be so much easier if you could just be like, ‘YO. I’m in love with you,’ with no consequence,” one contributor said via GChat. Preach.
So, here you go. A no-holds-barred list of the things we do when we’re secretly in love with you.
“I laugh really hard when you’re within ear shot, and make sure I look super engaged with who ever I’m talking to.”
“I send you a link to an article about something we talked about once, in passing.”
“I get really dressed up when I know I’m going to see you and then act surprised/dismissive when you say I look nice. (‘Really? Huh. I just came from work…’)”
“I listen to songs I think you’d like on Spotify and hope you see them on my Facebook feed.”
“I all of the sudden get buddy-buddy with your friends.”
“I tweet about things that aren’t directly about you, but that I know will interest you.”
“I never leave the bar before you do — I don’t care how early I have to work the next morning.”
“I live in fear that you will somehow learn how often I visit your Facebook page.”
“I text you something random or ‘funny’ my coworker did, just to start the conversation.”
“I go out of my way to not seem jealous of other women, going so far as to force you to say tell another girl how pretty she is.”
“I change my GChat status to something I want you to see.”
“I find out everything I can about you and then pretend to be surprised when you tell me something about yourself in person.”
“I stand in the same circle as you but avoid eye contact and only talk to the person standing next to you.”
“If we’re sitting at a table, booth, or bench, I will sit closer to you than to the person on my other side. I will make sure our arms accidentally graze each other.”
“I take advantage of every possible opportunity to “@” you on twitter.”
“I go out of my way to walk by you on the way to the bar.”
“I spend parties standing in your line of sight.”
“I dress inappropriately for events because you complimented that outfit another time. (‘Aren’t you cold?’ ‘… no.’)”
“I google anyone I found out you dated/hooked-up with/were interested in, just to see how I measure up.”
“I make up a ‘work question’ that we need to have coffee / lunch / drinks to discuss, because I’d really like your professional opinion on the matter. (Ideally, I’d also like to make out.)”
“I have Skype, gchat, and Facebook chat always up just in case you sign into one of the three messaging platforms.”
“I invite you to a party I’m throwing. And then quickly invite 100 other people so you won’t suspect I singled you out.”
”I will remember a random fact or opinion you expressed a year ago, even when you don’t.”
“I Google myself so I know what comes up in case you randomly decide to google me.”
“I bring up a movie/concert/activity that I think you would like, in the hopes that you will express interest and that I can then casually say, ‘Oh, do you want to come with?‘”
“I reply all to a group email that you’re in just so my name comes up in your inbox to refresh your memory that I exist. I will labor over this reply for at least an hour before hitting ‘send’.”
You better be comfortable following the important rules if you want to play.
1. She’s not going to jump into bed with you. I mean, she might, but it’s not a given. Open is the status of her relationship, not her legs.
2. She’s going to jump into bed with you. I know what I just wrote. But you should prepare your heart / vagina / penis / other body parts for the fact that she may be interested in a hookup — and only a hookup.
3. You have to follow her rules if you want to play. You have the option not to date her, but if you decide to go for it, be aware that there may be certain agreements she’s made with her primary partner, i.e. how often she can see you, or how intense things can be sexually. It’s pretty unlikely those will be adjustable. People in open relationships usually apply a lot of forethought to the architecture of those things.
4. She’s not a “cheater.” She didn’t decide to enter an open relationship because she is fundamentally immoral, a moustache-twirling cartoon villain, or anyone else who is generally careless with the feelings of others. There are reasons monogamy doesn’t work for her. Respect that.
5. If you have any questions about how this is going to work, just ask her. She’s very, um, open. She knows exactly what she needs and she’ll be more than happy to let you know.
6. She’s opinionated, and don’t mistake her for confused. She’s not in an open relationship because she can’t decide on one. She’s in an open relationship because she’s self-assured in her wants and needs, and knows how to execute them.
7. She likes sex. It might not be the sole reason she is conducting additional relationships outside of her primary one — but, yeah, she enjoys it. She enjoys it a lot.
8. You’re going to have to work well with others. Depending on the degree to which things heat up, you may have to make decisions about your relationship with her that factor in other people — namely her partner, or others you’re dating. If you’re the kind of person who would rather write an essay than do the group project, this might not be for you.
9. She’s emotionally mature. Don’t play games. She’s had to assess her perspective, wants, needs, and values, and negotiate those with the perspective, needs, wants, and values of at least one other person and likely even more. She’s not going to sweat the small stuff — unless it’s your brain.
10. You will never, ever be bored with her. Whether it’s for a few minutes, a few hours or a few decades, this will be an experience you won’t forget. So let go of your preconceptions and hold onto your hat, your heart, and the headboard.
How do you really know if it is lust or love. In a life time the average person falls in love at least 4 times. But is it really love? Here are the signs to be aware of before you decide if he is the right one.
Being honest with each other in a relationship is very important and it is also important that you get to know the person properly before you commit yourself. How well do you know him? Is the only talking you do bedroom talk?
You talk openly about life issues such as finances, children, things that frighten you, where you want your life to go.
You can argue and come to some sort of compromise at the end of it.
You are open and honest with each other about your feelings.
You only know his favourite colour, what paper he reads. You are afraid to ask him in depth questions about his life for fear of rejection or what you might find out.
You don’t discuss how you are feeling and often end up resenting each other.
Neither of you is willing to forgive one another.
A long lasting relationship or marriage can’t survive without love. So is it love or are you just kidding yourself?
In a crisis you stand by each other no matter what the result.
You make sacrifices to make the other person happy.
You are truthful and honest and don’t keep secrets from one another.
You are emotionally, physically, and mentally compatible.
You are friends as well as lovers.
When the going gets tough, he gets going.
He has an eye for the ladies and has proved to be untrustworthy.
He lies to you about where he has been and only confesses when you find out the truth.
There is little physical affection, laughter, or communication between the two of you.
He has been unfaithful on numerous occasions.
A relationship is about friendship, respect, and acceptance of one another. When this is lacking, trust and respect is replaced by suspicion which can turn to hatred.
You are aware of your partner’s faults and are able to accept some imperfections.
You support and encourage each other’s individual interests and identity.
You take the time to listen and understand the other person’s opinions.
You criticize each other in front of others.
He will not give you space to indulge in your interests and wants to spend every minute of the day with you.
You are constantly struggling to live up to his standards or the person you think he wants you to be.
You can’t forgive and/or forget each others mistakes.
Reading through the personal ads can be a skill, an art in its own. You may find that skimming through the personal ads has become your latest habit, searching for the person that meets your profile needs and desires but without success.
Have you been looking for love but in the wrong profiles, or are you searching for more that is not written in the lines of a personal ad? If you read more into a personal ad than what is actually written in the profile and in the pages of the personal classifieds, you may find yourself conversing or dating a person that does not have the same personal dating ideas as you or the same objective in a relationship which puts you back at the beginning of the process again.
You already know that the listings in the personal section are from people just like you, people who want to meet someone special to fit into their life so starting with the personal ads is a great way to meet someone. However, maybe you are reading the profile of someone wanting to find just a friend, or maybe the profile you are reading is someone that is also hinting towards a search for love in a relationship. You need to be a distinctive reader.
The odds are in your favor when searching the personal ads for in finding a companion or lover. You already know that if the profiles you are reading are not seeking some type of friendship or relationship, they would not have created a profile for others to review. However, the steps in deciding who you will make contact with can be one of the most difficult in your search.
Your journey reading the personal classified section will require you to look within yourself to discover what type of relationship you are truly in search of. Are you searching for a friend, for a lover, or are you searching for a true lifetime commitment? Whatever category you place yourself in, choose the replies and profiles that meet your standards in your search for a relationship helping you narrow your search, which will make the personals much easier to sort through. If you would sit in front of your computer and continue reading all of the personal ads presented, you may find yourself overwhelmed with information and choices to be made. Narrowing your criteria and the idea of what type of relationship you are searching for creates the best results.
If you are searching for a friend or companion only through the personal ads, start with profiles that state this specifically. In discussing profiles of those who are not looking for a serious relationship, you may find the following phrases used: ‘want to have a good time’,’ not looking for a relationship’ and ‘not willing to give my heart away’, ‘just want to spend some time with you’ or ‘seeking another with a great listening ear’. There are various words used expressing friendship, companionship and those just looking to date. Use these expressions and words to help you sort through the personal ads narrowing your decision among the many people listed.
Profiles of people searching for friendship use words that stick out like: ‘looking for fun’, ‘friendship’, ‘no commitments’, ‘companion wanted’, ‘only looking for a good time’, ‘need help in building my confidence’, ‘I want to roller blade in the park all day’, finding words that express fun and friendship stating no commitments or relationship will help you sort through the profiles you are reading.
Are you in search of that someone special to be more than just friends are? Learn to read more into the written words. Find descriptions such as ‘looking for love’, ‘searching for that someone special’, ‘more than friends’, ‘quiet and cozy’, ‘easy going and lovable’, ‘special times’, ‘treasured moments’, and words similar to ‘lovable’.
So what about your profile, read over the words again. Does the profile really express your thoughts about a relationship, what type of relationship you are seeking and whom you are expecting to meet using the personal classifieds? Deciding what type of person you are searching for, what qualities you desire, and how far you want the relationship to mature are steps in realizing you are taking the right direction for meeting that someone special through the classifieds. Clarify your words, express your real thoughts and ideas about who you are seeking clearly which will aid those that are reading your profile connect easily with you.
Matching your personality and the relationship you are seeking with the personal profile or description of another person that is seeking similar relationships can be tough but using your feelings of what you want from a relationship as a basis when reading and sorting through the personals is a great beginning.
Has your lover broken your heart? Here are a number of ways to help cure it and bounce back. You don’t have to silently suffer.
- Just like learning to ride a bicycle, if you fall off, get back on and try again. Of course, your goal should not be to fall in love with the first person that is interested in you, but get back into the dating scene as soon as you can. You won’t be home crying yourself to sleep, and you will be having a good time instead.
Join a support group with others who have had a similar break-up experience and see if you find them compatible to talk to. You might gain a lot of insight through them.
Curl up and read a good book. Not necessarily a romance novel, but a book that will teach you something. Make it non-fiction.
Accept the good memories you’ve had with your mate and don’t dwell on the bad times or the recent separation. Negative thoughts of the past will be unpleasant and only make you unhappy. Work on letting go of the past so that you can start looking forward to the future.
Don’t keep your love letters or any trinkets or reminders that your ex gave you. Store them away instead of throwing them away, in case there may be reconciliation in the future. But try not to hold onto that hope.
Playing beautiful music will soothe your soul and make you feel better, but don’t play the music you and your loved one enjoyed together, or that were your songs. Try a different type of music that you normally don’t like.
Stay in touch with a trusted friend and confide in that person. If he or she is a true friend, they will listen to you and not make judgments, or talk about you behind your back.
Write down your angst in a private journal and write in it every day. See how much better you feel with each passing day. Time will heal your broken heart if you let it.
Forgiving that person and letting go of your anger will help you to cure your own broken heart. But don’t expect too much of yourself. Accept that forgiveness will take time.
Don’t think just because you have been hurt once, you will be hurt again and especially, don’t make the next person suffer because you are suffering now. That doesn’t help anything and probably will only make you feel worse in the long run.
If you have a spiritual belief, prayer for help with your broken heart will help in the healing process. It is common to feel betrayed in your time of need. But this is not the case and your faith will make you feel stronger and more able to handle what you are going through.
Following the above tips, will hopefully help you cure your broken heart. Know that in time, you won’t feel so devastated and you will be able to move on.
When you date for the very first time it might go embarrassing. This can be mainly due to lack of skill and people would not know how to behave. The errors you make might turn into really serious at times. You then find out for the guidelines of dating. You have to look at the policies of dating and need to follow as much as you could. Then you definitely would notice a transformation within your dating.
First as well as the foremost dating tips might be to get punctual. No human being is 100% perfect however you can try to be perfect as much as you could. You’ve to look your best and dress properly. If you are untidy you cannot entice anybody. Also if you’re late you then would not have the ability to develop a great impact within the minds of your date. Only if you are intelligent your partner will like to come out with you.
Finding the better half just isn’t extremely simple and you need to read through many dating tips identified online. Only if you realize the strategies of human minds you will be able to have fun. You should realize your partner’s preferences, what they go through and listen to and what they anticipate from you. If you don’t want to see her or him once again, do not conceal the very fact from them. Be bold to say the facts.
Right after having poor dates you would realize for your self what to do and what to avoid. You can list out your personal dating tips in cases like this and set your very own rules. Not each of the dating tips would suit all sorts of individuals. Additionally, it should match in to the nature. Should you be dating somebody just for fun, tell them this matter plainly. Not all of the dates would turn in to love. Don’t maintain connection with somebody having adverse ideas. If you want to find real love then you definitely should wait around for the situation till that blooms.
Do you feel unfilled in your relationship? Are you continuously attracting boring dates? Want to spark up your love life? Here’s my best advice for you. Drum roll please… You need to get out of your comfort zone!
Let me first tell you the reason why you feel bored and un-stimulated in your love life [this can apply to any area of your life as well] it’s because you are staying in your comfort zone. Trying new things will bring life and passion back into your relationships.
Learning a new activity with your partner is known to bring back more passion in a couple. What kind of adventure or new activity could you go on, that would get you to bond and learn new things together? Maybe it’s skiing lessons? How about, taking a trip to a place you haven’t been before? Or skydiving?
Cooking classes on exotic dishes can really open you up to some new excitement. Let’s not forget about tantric sex. These could all be ways to get out of your comfort zone. Think about what would you both enjoy doing that would stretch you? Here’s one I highly recommend: show vulnerability and trust that your partner will still love you. That’s one of the most exciting things you can do with a partner.
If you are not in a committed relationship but keep on attracting dates that are boring it’s probably because you are going for what feels safe. When we are not confident, we often go for someone we feel deep down is not a match at some level because “if it does not work out we won’t be devastated”.
Have you always wanted to go out with a certain person you know that you find extremely attractive, but you don’t let yourself show your interest? How about going for someone who sees through you and calls you on who you are and is totally into you? How about someone who is emotionally available, who would actually be a really nice person for you and wants to be in a committed relationship?
So be honest with yourself now and see if there is not some place for some more courageous actions you could take that would spice up your love life!