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 Chapter 5 - Top Ten Teaching Tips
Elizabeth Halsey's Top Ten Teaching Tips
1. There is no heel too high, no sweater too tight, no neckline too low. Besides, it’s nothing these kids haven’t seen on the internet.
2. Movies are the new books. You would be surprised how educational Stand By Me and Dangerous Minds really are.
3. Stay hydrated: keep a bottle of your favorite liquor in your desk drawer.
4. For those moments when the booze doesn’t cut it, keep an emergency J in your purse. It’s medicinal, and it’s OK as long as you do it in the gym.
5. Always be honest with your students. If they suck, they should know.
6. Get your rest. If you stayed out too late the night before, sleep in class.
7. Throwing things at your students prepares them for the real world.
8. If you are the school’s top fundraiser, they expect you to skim a little off the top.
9. Cut corners wherever you can. Like top ten lists… just do nine. No one will notice.
Amy Squirrel's Top Ten Teaching Tips
1. Alexander Pope once wrote, “A little learning is a dangerous thing; Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring.” Like, duh!
2. Whitney Houston once sang, “I believe the children are our future,” and I truly, truly believe that. Truly.
3. Anything your students bring you is something they have obviously poured their heart and soul into and deserves your full attention. And probably a place on your wall.
4. Method teach. Get into character and engage your students by incorporating voices, costumes and charades to get their attention. Trust me, your students won’t think it’s lame.
5. You are a role model and the students take their behavioral cues from you. So take any opportunity to chaperone a school event.
6. Keeping a close eye on your lunch quadrant is next to Godliness.
7. Diverting from the lesson plan could affect a student’s future. Treat your curriculum like the bible.
8. Try giving your students an apple for once… After all, we learn as much from them as they do from us.
9. You will find that there are other teachers who are not committed to the profession as you are. If you need a secret satisfaction, just remind yourself that you are a better person than they are.
10. Never talk about that thing that happened in 2008.
11. Always give a little more than what they asked for.
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