Despite what you learned in school, that little voice in the back of your mind is not necessarily your conscience – it may be the last fully functioning piece of your brain, desperately trying to tell you that the guy or the girl you’ve been seeing is not even close to being your soul mate. As unfortunate as this conclusion is, is it not better to come to on your own rather than being taught by an expert on this subject? No? Well, in this case, read on for a list of signs that it is time to return to the trenches and continue that trudge toward true love.
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Your date is devoted to one another. “On a regular basis, he spoke to his mother more than he did for me,” says Bethany from Minneapolis. “He spoke to her every day, and then compare myself to her. She was on such a short leash that he never made an important decision without it!”
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Your spending habits do not match. “If she shops to be felt well, and it feels better when money is saved for the future, look out: irritation, frustration, and arguments can result,” said Rita Benasutti, Ph.D ., a therapist in Boca Raton, FL. In other words: Get out now while your credit card balance is still manageable.
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Your politics are too different. Although there are some famous liberal / conservative couples out there, “If you have opposing ideologies, it is usually a deal-breaker,” says John Seeley, author of Get Unstuck! The Simple Guide to Restart Your Life. Thus, “if you find yourself saying things like” I can not believe you voted for him “or” I can not even kiss someone who loves that person, “it is time to move on.
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Your baby can not get your jokes. Believe me: If this obscure Monty Python reference causes misunderstanding but polite laughter on a first date, they will be greeted by an icy silence in six months on the road. The same formula applies if she thinks Garrison Keillor is hilarious, but you’re more like Homer Simpson banging on the TV and shouting: “Be more funny!”
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Your interest in love is not ready. “I met someone a year ago, and we really hit it,” says Michele of Atlanta. “He called me from work daily, saying that he missed me and could not wait to see me. But we have had, the more he began to pull back. Finally, I threw in the towel, realizing that even if we were compatible in many ways, it was not emotionally ready for a relationship. “
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Your honey wants kids and you do not (or vice versa). “Often, a person is so happy to find one that he or she assumes love, marriage and having children go together, but for the other person, being a duo and being in love is enough” said Dr. Benasutti. “It’s a good idea to have a serious heart to heart talk with your potential partner to understand his point of view.”
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Your tastes are too different. “The number-one reason for failed relationships is what I call ‘refinement incompatibility,'” said Zannah Hackett, author of the ancient wisdom of Matchmaking. “Some of us are content to camping, while others can not survive outside a hotel room Ritz-Carlton. Some things are negotiable, but refinement incompatibility is not one of them, no matter how you are magnetically attracted to each other.”
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Your lifestyle confrontation. If you are a business leader pulling in six figures a year, you’ve probably figured out by now if you can tolerate a guy or girl who wins an order of magnitude less in terms of salary. No harm, no fault to end things now is better than someone who goes along (or unexpectedly sticking with your date to this restaurant tab expensive).
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Your first connection unfinished. “When we met, the chemistry was not there,” says Lauren from New York, speaking of a relationship, she had high hopes for … at first. “Sometimes, the attraction grows as you get to know a person, and sometimes not, but it’s very different to have this instant sizzling chemistry when your date looks to you for the first time.”
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Your relationship to you on the edge. “I think it strengthens you, lifts you up and does not produce anxiety,” says Kathryn Alice, author of Love Will Find You. “When something goes wrong, your intuition keeps trying to let you know by putting nagging doubts in your mind as well as continual anxiety. This is something gut and your gut is rarely wrong.”
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